By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Spicy
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 953
You deserved it 6 207
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Top comments

BulldogHoops 14

You brought this upon yourself when your girlfriend's texts were being read over her shoulder.

161 8

Comments

error404n0tf0und 21

think of it as a threesome!

39 87
Harmell 7

I just don't understand why people let dogs into the same room as them while sexing it up

99 2
LiveLoveBeatles 19

Maybe they didn't let the dog in the room. It's possible the door may have been open

5 11
skegyptn 5

That's the same thing... Should be smart enough to close the door.

30 1
Austin_Burkes 6

I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I think I could put a dog outside of a room and shut the door before I have sex. why can't everyone do this???

12 2
Toasty283 8

@1. I don't know about you, but I think *********** is disgusting

7 1
kyu_Q 19

Hopefully the ****** was the first of many. Next time do as the fellow dog owners say and put the dog out before getting busy. Guess you don't really need to be told that now though.

5 0
evilshenanigans1 4

I had the dog out of the room and the door shut once... The dog managed to open the door, come charging in, and bit my boyfriend at the time right on his bare ass...

7 0
Doodleoodlebug 18

#51, some dogs are very clever and open doors. My boxer used to. Now my lab just lays down while we do it and then afterwards comes to sleep on the bed. Not everyone can shut their dogs out either, they can bark or be destructive which can ruin the mood even more.

3 0
BulldogHoops 14

You brought this upon yourself when your girlfriend's texts were being read over her shoulder.

161 8
lilhellian 26

No it started on the first date when he mentioned he was into golden labs.. That was just icing on the cake! Woof

40 3
Tpracingkg 15

At least you gave her one unlike most guys lol

78 5
RedPillSucks 31

did the dog savage you the same way you savaged your girlfriend?

109 4
tygerarmy 35

His dog got jealous because the OP was doing it doggie style.

8 18
Pleonasm 35

Climaxing doggy style is always very intense.

107 7
flockz 19

well ain't that a bitch.

72 0
StarJack 9

I guess you could say you gave the dog a bone.

66 2
TheAbstract 15

So is Metallica, and yet they're still around.

29 2
MetallicaFTW 16

Someone's still masturbating over Bieber.

2 2
MetallicaFTW 16

Misread your comment 50, I thought you were dissing. Apologies.

2 1
TheAbstract 15

Aww come on, how can you think I'm a beiber fan from a little joke? That's not okay, brotherman. But to be fair, I was dissing. Not like full-on dissing, but more of a light teasing, you know?

1 1
MetallicaFTW 16

Haha it's funny how everyone assumes that I'm a guy just cause I like Metallica. :) I tend to get in waaaaay too many battles over music tastes so excuse my epic fail. If you haven't already noticed, I also tend to read comments way too quickly and jump to conclusions. :D

3 1
BeccaHugs 17

[instert disgusting and not funny comment about doggy style / beastality here]

14 46
strawberrywine22 30

Fyi, saying "insert 'blah blah blah' here" does NOT in fact insert said blah blah blah. It only makes you look dumb.

54 4
lolfood 24

Plus, it wastes a space that could have been used for an original, funny comment.

11 0
lonewolf621 17

Stop being gay guys. Ok here goes. Did the dog make you ****** whilst it did you doggy style?

0 0
perdix 29

It's a dog eat dog world, so to speak.

44 4