Foreplay should be more than just words or maybe that's just me.

"More than words is all you have to do to make it real Then you wouldn't have to say that you *penis* me 'cause I'd already know"

PENIS!!!...

"I wanna sex you up."

I read "husband" as "dad" at first D:

I don't know how you mix up completely different looking words

My reading skills were clearly not on par this morning

#33 that was right on time. I busted out laughing.

at least it wasn't "I'm gonna dick you down" like some other FML. your husband sounds bad in bed

Tell me you're gonna "dick me down good"

At least he tried! He did say he'd penis you, hopefully the sex was better than the foreplay

And sometimes the guy needs a whole Powerpoint presentation.

She should watch out, he might just ******** her deeper

I read this FML and your response to my husband while we are about to go to sleep but just cracked up laughing!

And you let him say that shit?? A bit TMI, but when I have sex, it's best to match the dirty talk with hard pounding...otherwise it's just talk. My best friend actually used to say: "I balled my girlfriend deep man". I always thought he meant basketball, since I dunno how you can "ball" someone deep...

Lol the funny part though is that he'd only describe it as "balling"...

Whispers "I'm gunna kill you" Hot right?

#36 Only if it's followed by "By penissing you in your ****** so hard"

dicks be like "how do I penis?"

#11- The real question here is, "How much penis would a penis penis if a penis could penis penis?"

Never thought I'd say the word penis that many times in one sentence.