Wankers
By Anonymous - 23/08/2016 08:38
By Anonymous - 23/08/2016 08:38
By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States
By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin
By afafakfhsg - 19/02/2011 00:19 - United States
By concernedsis - 04/02/2016 14:53 - United States - Atlanta
By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29
By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 16:59 - United States - Harker Heights
By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States
By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00
By Anonymous - 05/11/2015 01:17 - United States - San Francisco
By namhtor - 28/09/2009 19:20 - United States
Your brother makes a good point
Hey, sibling bonding moment. Those are the best! I have 3 younger brothers. Always the best, minus the being grounded. That's pretty lame. One time my dad caught me doing that and he laughed and said "we've all done it." And my dad is religious too. That's pretty lame op. Sorry bro.
Sorry you both got grounded OP, but that was hysterical! I don't blame you for laughing. Your dad is wrong to try to shame both of you for something normal.
That only justifies that your brother won the argument.
Aw, after moving house your dad finally caught on.
are you trying to connect this to the previous FML?
it seems like it lmao
"Yeah, because of you guys, my son died nailed to a cross, lamenting the fact that I'd forsaken him, but you know what REALLY grinds my gears? Masturbation. Seriously, seriously, stop laughing!" –God
"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Hand !" - OP's dad, probably.
God seems pretty perverted in my eyes if he watches us all masturbating.
Haha, I ♡ your brother. But I do feel sorry for you.
I too fall in love with the siblings of those who post on this site
I didn't know i was in love with pizza. Thanks #8 for opening my eyes, all these years saying I love pizza and not realizing what it meant...
Your brother has a very valid response
And this is why I find religion to be more harm than helpful. I support that it gives people strength to go on and something to believe in that's bigger than themselves, but condemning actions as instinctual as self gratification as "evil" and "a sin" is what gives us the misunderstood psychopaths who could have lived a normal life had they not been chastised for experiencing natural urges and emotions. I'm glad you and your brother can find humor in the bible-thumping "logic", well executed humor at that.
This. And I'm willing to bet that the dad masturbated furiously in his younger years, which would ostensibly make him a hypocrite.
Masturbation isn't mentioned as a sin in the Bible.
Not explicitly, but it does say that "anyone who so much as looks at a woman with lust in his heart has committed adultery."
But I stopped caring after I hit puberty
As what happens a lot with religion and the Bible, people take pieces and assign their own meanings to it. They take quotes like James 1:14-15 "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death," or Thessalonians 4:3-5 "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God." They look at these and take them to mean masturbation, when they never explicitly mention it, and could be referring to many things.
Actually, it sort of does on several occasions, but not directly. The bible condemns self-indulgence, adultery of the mind, and fornication. It also says sex is only for married couples, which would exclude sex with yourself...
It also says in Matthew chapter 23, verse 9, to never call anyone on earth father. Christians are only to call God their father.
Didn't you know God is triggered by people jerking off?
Keywords
Your brother makes a good point
Sorry you both got grounded OP, but that was hysterical! I don't blame you for laughing. Your dad is wrong to try to shame both of you for something normal.