Intimacy: Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote.... - FML

By Allabouttheporn - 22/12/2016 00:05

Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 995

You deserved it 3 318

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Same thing different taste

By monty - 09/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 366

You deserved it 13 428

By Foot In Mouth - 13/07/2016 02:46 - United States - Bentonville

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 291

You deserved it 6 041

By Andrew - 24/09/2010 10:22 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 278

You deserved it 4 585

Animated movies

By Penny - 18/01/2020 20:00

Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 477

By Anonymous - 29/07/2016 18:10

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 686

You deserved it 7 350

What is the real feeling?

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 05:15

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 2 465

By alison89430 - 05/12/2016 22:35 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 977

You deserved it 982

By Broly171 - 01/10/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 317

You deserved it 5 645

By Bonngoo - 17/11/2016 18:17 - United States

Today, at school, we were supposed to say something that we are thankful for. When I was about to speak, one of the girls at my table said, "It's okay, you can say PornHub." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 300

You deserved it 1 223

By THANKS4theINFO - 23/05/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 936

You deserved it 38 731

Next

Top comments

Frabens 1

Thursday 22 December 2016 12:42

What kind of quote would **** have that could have been brought up at dinner?

Goblin182 26

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:11

What was the quote? "Ahhh ahhhh, oh **** I'm cumming?"

Comments

Frabens 1

Thursday 22 December 2016 12:42

What kind of quote would **** have that could have been brought up at dinner?

BestOrginalName 22

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:38

OSCAR-QUALITY pornos sure do aid in my spastic spanking-of-the-ferret.

yerawizardlizzy 27

Thursday 22 December 2016 16:42

That's what I was wondering. Any dialogue in a porno is typically vapid.

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 23 December 2016 0:18

They were having kielbasa maybe? "Ohhh yeah, that's a BIG sausage you have. can't wait to take a bite *licks lips*" so yeah... dumb porno talk.. but necessarily irrelevant per se in this potential case.. unless you don't like kielbasa...

ColCyclone 17

Friday 23 December 2016 4:18

"I'm the cook"

aredvulpix 23

Thursday 22 December 2016 12:54

Hopefully Dad hasn't seen it!

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:02

At last! A FML where "That could've happened to me" is funnier than "YDI"! Although of course it couldn't have happened to me. Certainly not! Absolutely not!

Goblin182 26

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:11

What was the quote? "Ahhh ahhhh, oh **** I'm cumming?"

BestOrginalName 22

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:59

"Dude, the ****? Is there a fly tickling my gaping butthole?"

sturschaedel 27

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:25

Now your parents are googling the phrase. They'll know soon.

Lalala579121 27

Thursday 22 December 2016 13:45

It'd be even worse if they knew what it was from.

URBeingLied2 23

Thursday 22 December 2016 14:04

"You know, that's bad for the paper tray."

kdg08 1

Tuesday 1 August 2017 7:22

10/10 best friends reference

jonjonguapito 15

Thursday 22 December 2016 14:05

"Can you give me a teabag and creampie my pancake and give me the sausage. I love pearls, darling." Is that quote?

claytonface 0

Friday 23 December 2016 15:56

#10, if that wasn't a quote- it certainly will be now! Perhaps better than the original post. Merci!

maharb01 17

Thursday 22 December 2016 14:57

must have had some serious production value if it was "dinner table quotable"

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 22 December 2016 15:09

You must be watching that fancy **** that fancy people pay money for. The free internet stuff has nothing much beyond "****, yeah. Shit, shit, shit. **** yes!" I'll bet yours has a cool jazz accompaniment, whereas most free **** has nothing! I did see a compilation featuring "Yakity Sax." Kinda ruined the mood.

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You deserved it 154

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I agree, your life sucks 68 431

You deserved it 5 580