Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the...

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 393

You deserved it 8 739

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 45 871

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 943

You deserved it 18 652

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 834

You deserved it 37 146

Hiya!

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 6 271

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 14 929

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 05/06/2021 08:00

Today, my mom walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. Later, police turned up because mom thought she was underage. I had to desperately prove to some very angry officers that I met my girlfriend at university, and she’s almost a year older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 355

You deserved it 188

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 652

You deserved it 86 720

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 015

You deserved it 7 503

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 771

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 806

You deserved it 18 371

lexiBRo 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:04

hehehe.... hope it was good.. what did you tell your mom the next time you two spoke and she asked what happened that day??

UFCFIGHTER 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:32

**** blocked by your mom lol

Comments

Person1233 12

Saturday 11 July 2009 22:58

Lmao FYL for sure

Person1233 12

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:02

Damn I was editing a longer comment into this then the time was up -.-

KumoFF7 3

Sunday 12 July 2009 5:47

How is this an FYL?

AnaMaree 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 5:49

He deserved it for getting pushed on the couch by his girlfriend.

youaresofucked 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 11:49

What are you on about? I wish I had a girl like that.

mardybum_fml 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 14:16

rofl, ever thought of locking your key pad?

Niko_Peiko_Boo 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 22:59

Haha, oh boy >_>

Imawhalerider 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 0:14

I did this once, except my friend just thought it was a dunk dial. fml

iKaite 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:00

I read this on bash. You fail.

elmina_fml 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:01

haha!

nagele 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 3:40

lawlz...

Blackdemon 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:02

HAHAHA! That would have been a good day for the cops

hecuva 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:36

could have turned out to be a VERY good day ;) there's always a silver lining... more people means more fun!

popoman 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 5:08

If they were hot female cops, yes, it would have been a most magnificent day.

lexiBRo 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:04

hehehe.... hope it was good.. what did you tell your mom the next time you two spoke and she asked what happened that day??

softballplaya822 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:04

ohh myy that's not good...

captivemj 4

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:05

hahahhahahahhah!!!!!!!

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:05

Uh... Another reason you shouldn't keep your phone in your back pocket? Another reason to buy the new Blackberry that closes? Too bad Verizon didn't use this approach.