Intimacy: The wrong kind of banging

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 111

You deserved it 3 951

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 795

You deserved it 617

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 26 498

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 151

You deserved it 8 004

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 066

You deserved it 86 734

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 6 222

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 520

You deserved it 13 117

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 425

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 205

You deserved it 20 251

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 818

You deserved it 3 322

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 616

You deserved it 8 230

arms_akimbo 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 7:50

But did you finish? Giggity giggity goo.

8ranko 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 22:17

almost hapened to me....you got do give her sugar... is fun to F*** in a car while eating chocolats :D

Comments

arms_akimbo 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 7:50

But did you finish? Giggity giggity goo.

alpuppy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 10:39

Also curious if you finished...that'd be a major turnon

8ranko 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 22:17

almost hapened to me....you got do give her sugar... is fun to F*** in a car while eating chocolats :D

2random 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:26

haha , and u kept going didnt ya ??

flyingdjs 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 3:00

rustybullethole has the best comments ever..

Stephen_fml 0

Monday 23 February 2009 0:10

you should've caught her

wicked_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 8:46

didn't she warn you ahead of time? if she didn't that's her own fault!

jsmith1199 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 5:12

now u have the best sex story u could ever ask for- "dude i was banging this one chick so hard that she PASSED OUT!!"

rainstorm 0

Friday 20 March 2009 2:39

i think the girl definitely had it worse. -_-

dekz 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 11:30

you need to practice safe sex mate

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Dentist Health Awkward My ex Shopping Love Cats Animals Work Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family AITA Am I overreacting? Parents Annoying Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Technology

The Top

Today, as a CNA, I had to go through the belongings of a patient. His phone rang and I answered - it was his boss. As I explained, he cut me off and said to "drop the act" and "he better be there now or he's fired". He was pronounced dead-on-arrival. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 674

You deserved it 197

Today, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his girl bestie for 4 years. I also found out he's been having threesomes with his male bestie. Both people have been around me and my family this entire time. We've been married for 15 years. Joke's on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I are Balkans (Albanian to be more specific) and him, his dad, and my dad went out for coffee to talk. I found out afterwards that my dad had accepted my hand in engagement without talking to me about it. I've only been dating him for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 110

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 173

You deserved it 5 703

Today, I emailed out class requirements for the upcoming school year. I had to include, "No toys, no bottles, no pacifiers, and children must be fully potty trained in order to attend." At least 3 parents complained. I teach second grade, and none of them is special needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 91

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 683

You deserved it 4 366

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 811

You deserved it 10 624

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 351