Kids: Spooky

Spooky

By BadgerSpirit - 27/04/2011 13:35 - United States

Today, I woke my husband up at 2 a.m., screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally said, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four-year-old daughter with her blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 882

You deserved it 43 834

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 26 521

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 253

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 23:32 - Ireland

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 708

You deserved it 6 571

Yikes

By AAAAAAAAAAAAA - 11/07/2022 07:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 148

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 231

You deserved it 23 778

Prank wars

By Divorcemenow - 17/07/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 629

You deserved it 6 972

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 498

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 960

You deserved it 252 003

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 400

You deserved it 6 565

By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 293

You deserved it 2 647

ceddyz17 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:49

a badger? is she that hairy

Awahso 25

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:53

Wow, self esteem boost for her

Comments

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:48

maby u should find a badger and keep it as a pet.

Krajjan 9

Wednesday 27 April 2011 19:59

Being mistaken for a badger is insulting. Now, being called a wolverine is awesome. Those things are little terror engines.

livin_plur 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 20:26

where the hell did u even get the idea that it was a badger? as far as I know it's not really common for a badger to crawl into someones house in general rather than in your bed lol

dolphincheddar 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 21:24

if I was your husband you'd be sleeping on the couch tomorrow night

littlemissFYL 5

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:32

i think we can all come to the conclusion that you are a very love mother. :)

dcam13 19

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:07

is she that ugly? lol fyls... also why would your first assumption be a badger? didn't know Washington was so weird.

ILoveEmoes 9

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:20

#70 I bet the daughter will be teased for it xD Being mistaken for a badger by your own mother...

MissBrainDamage 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:01

Wow you guys are excellent parents - aren't you?

mandalore92 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 2:41

68 If i were the husband I would be making her sleep on the couch

Saint_Pete_Saint 0

Friday 29 April 2011 5:36

chewbaca! lol jk nvm

luvyah 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 3:39

ur pic is hot

FML102938 8

Saturday 17 September 2011 6:15

Honey badger don't care

ceddyz17 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:49

a badger? is she that hairy

ydi_4_suking 20

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:56

poor ugly hairy little girl. but a badger. really OP? if i see an animal in my room at that time, the more reasonable thought is a dog got in here maybe a big cat. but a badger?