Kids: Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I...

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 04:03 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 657

You deserved it 6 233

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Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 155

You deserved it 6 016

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 16:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 742

You deserved it 23 092

By badcomparison - 18/12/2016 07:02 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 545

You deserved it 828

Fight me

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 760

You deserved it 25 580

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 395

You deserved it 4 719

By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 3 768

By Geewizz - 05/04/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 483

You deserved it 4 709

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 996

You deserved it 18 158

By humanshield - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Rockland

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 258

You deserved it 5 144

Little perv

By cplaner - 04/02/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 5 238

Jaxro 6

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:13

Your girlfriend must be made of pure win, that's hilarious. Just wear a shirt..

3ree 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:34

if its on your back, clearly you couldnt write it on yourself.

Comments

amelinat 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:03

Child abuse jokes are always always in poor taste, your girl friend must have a sick sense of humor. Even if your job wasnt working with children it is still a very bad joke.

skyler_kitttyyy 0

Monday 16 August 2010 16:27

sorry dude...... she is a really under clased girl I guess wear a wet suit top and then breake up with her and maby one day u could have a laugh

rosary143 1

Friday 13 January 2012 1:24

Geez calm down it was a joke its not like she ment it, and its not nesesery for them to break up, and if your insulted by that then you shouldn't be on fml

wpolo02 7

Tuesday 6 November 2012 1:22

What are you gay? They're really funny!

beechy1996 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:05

Did any parents see it and think WTF?!

carmel 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:13

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ohh, nicee girlfriend. Some of the stupid parents might have even thought it meant you loved little kids and you are great with children? :D You should have just rubbed it in anyway.

Jaxro 6

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:13

Your girlfriend must be made of pure win, that's hilarious. Just wear a shirt..

writergirl69 0

Wednesday 22 September 2010 5:05

if you have to get in the water, get a one-piece

xovollyball11 3

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:27

^ he's a guy

Kitten_love 22

Tuesday 17 November 2015 0:22

Most women swim teachers have to wear a one piece anyways so that it's family friendly. Just saying.

hk_fml 9

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:27

xD I think that'd be hilarious if you didnt work with little boys, I mean their parents are going to see it and it's only going to make you look reallllyyy suspicious

DeeJayD 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:32

I'd suggest wearing something like a wetsuit shirt in the pool until it goes away. If anyone asks, just tell them what happened. Providing they're not completely ******* stupid, they should understand.

SpunkT 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:33

Wow, your girlfriend sucks.

BigMacBoi 3

Friday 19 August 2011 5:11

HIS COCKKK ;P

3ree 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:34

if its on your back, clearly you couldnt write it on yourself.

AntiChrist7 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:34

your girlfriend is either stupid or sick. YDI

trynightday 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 12:35

Today, I took my two sons, aged 7 and 11, to the local swimming pool. When the swimming instructor turned around, I saw that he had 'I Love Little Boys' burned into his back. FML. Nah, no one's gunna take it seriously. If you DID love little boys, I'm sure you'd be a little more subtle than that.