Cheating and Love: And you ask find yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

And you ask find yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

By soontobesingle - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Sherborne

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 023

You deserved it 4 409

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 375

You deserved it 10 388

Let that sink in

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 21:42 - Canada

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 862

You deserved it 8 725

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 240

You deserved it 4 592

It was the painkillers, I swear

By laurenh211 - 17/11/2020 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 85

By N/A - 25/09/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 474

You deserved it 2 841

Place in the world fades away

By What - 07/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 73

News to me

By Whitney - 09/10/2022 02:30

Today, my best friend called me and told me she was in the hospital in labor. Excited, I rush to the hospital. Once I arrived, I saw my boyfriend of 4 years in the room. I asked him what he was doing there and my friend says, “You wanna tell her or should I?” Turns out he’s leaving me for her. The baby is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 625

You deserved it 148

By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 118

You deserved it 3 382

Foot in mouth

By Noname - 24/02/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ended the conversation with, "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "That's great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 650

You deserved it 57 595

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 646

You deserved it 37 045

AbstraktThoughts 13

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:29

Tell him that he's about to have another broken arm.

KY_Jelly 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:29

That really sucks. And she must be a moron to speak while he's on the phone with his wife.

Comments

AbstraktThoughts 13

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:29

Tell him that he's about to have another broken arm.

lilhellian 26

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:36

Why stop with the arm?

AbstraktThoughts 13

Thursday 28 March 2013 0:47

True. Chris brown that ************.

cupcakechick 17

Thursday 28 March 2013 2:35

he said his FRIEND had a broken arm, not himself...

sofitina 20

Thursday 28 March 2013 5:38

The commentor was most likely referring ti the fact that apart from his friend, HE would also have a broken arm. Atleast that's what I gathered.

simplysarcastics 26

Thursday 28 March 2013 8:22

Good thinking commenter 2, both him and his trollop shall be rewarded with broken arms! Lol

kyu_Q 19

Friday 29 March 2013 9:05

I find that broken legs ankles or toes are much harder to deal with than broken arms. I suggest you break one of those instead

Yorih 19

Friday 29 March 2013 11:11

You know the penis isn't a bone yet can technically be fractured... If you're not gonna stop at the arm, just a thought ;)

TehButterz 8

Friday 12 August 2016 23:14

Why not break everything, just to be safe

KY_Jelly 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:29

That really sucks. And she must be a moron to speak while he's on the phone with his wife.

teddy4nyy 13

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:31

Your username is...interesting.

asdfjkl123456 13

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:33

I bet the inspiration for this username was involved in this scandal :o

evilplatypus 38

Thursday 28 March 2013 0:22

Goes interestingly with their picture... I'm wondering WHAT exactly their flavor is.

LuckBeNimble 19

Thursday 28 March 2013 0:50

41: hopefully cherry. :D

xSunnyOlivia 17

Thursday 28 March 2013 1:41

Probably ex-wife now.

Epikouros 31

Thursday 28 March 2013 2:14

Water-based lube sucks too. And I think the other woman knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted to get rid of the competition. The only stupid thing is that he will cheat on her, too.

savvysomething 5

Saturday 30 March 2013 6:29

I bet you the woman did it on purpose..

RpiesSPIES 27

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:29

Maybe it was a granny in the next bed watching HSN... No? Dump him.

jillybee101 7

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:29

Nicely done lady in the background, if it wasn't obvious before, it sure is now!;)

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:30

If you're going to lie, agree on what the lie is beforehand. That said, OP's boyfriend can go to that big fiery place.

kait11 16

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:37

One does not simply walk into Mordor

ScruffyFML 10

Thursday 28 March 2013 0:06

Too far, #28, too far.

EMTchic 14

Thursday 28 March 2013 0:58

I'm pretty sure that OP clearly said the word "husband". Not boyfriend.

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Thursday 28 March 2013 2:40

48- Gah! I commented without rereading the FML! I'm sorry! *commits seppuku*

Pwuj 6

Thursday 28 March 2013 4:19

On a totally irrelevant matter,, Everytime someone writes OP,. I always read it as One piece.,

capslockisgood 19

Thursday 28 March 2013 4:20

65 You had to make me go all the way over to google and look that word up didn't you?

Yousuck24 21

Thursday 28 March 2013 8:08

Unless he had a gun to your head, I don't see how he could force you to look up the meaning of that word.

s15c 9

Thursday 28 March 2013 13:08

85- Sepukku- the old Japanese technique of suicide to preserve honor. One would take a sword or knife, stab oneself in the stomach, and move the sword/knife around your stomach in a circle. And yet, I'm 16 and didn't have to use Google. If I know it, you should know it. C'mon now.

vadaaa 11

Thursday 28 March 2013 17:47

121- are you really saying that people should know the Japanese word for honorable suicide just because you're a sixteen year old who knows the word? Are you ******* kidding me?