Animals: Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with...

By bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 257

You deserved it 6 220

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Same thing different taste

By HelpMe - 25/02/2014 09:59 - United Kingdom - Galashiels

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 991

You deserved it 3 848

By Beeisc00l - 05/10/2011 18:58 - Reserved

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 22 521

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 522

You deserved it 29 604

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 21:48 - United States - Merrimack

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 769

You deserved it 2 426

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 382

By animallover - 26/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 576

You deserved it 5 302

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 879

You deserved it 7 341

By LG - 17/03/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 663

You deserved it 4 145

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 125

You deserved it 7 199

By Anonymous - 03/09/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 373

You deserved it 6 880

justsayfuck 5

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:58

You liar! You forced him :o

ibmike22 13

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:01

i wish i had a guinea pig:( oh well, the only friend i need is my fridge

Comments

Blue_Coconuts 7

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:57

Get a puppy. Mine loves me. :) Also while I'm at it, might as well.. Happy birthday to Haley.

justsayfuck 5

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:58

You liar! You forced him :o

justsayfuck 5

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:01

It is wrong because OP said the poor guinea pig (who is neither from guinea nor a pig?) wanted to. Your turn.

justsayfuck 5

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:19

I said: You're a test subject!

hojmatoj 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 8:16

hey

sauce31 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:59

I just submitted a much better fml than that. this is bull.

LoganAdams 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:59

go somewhere and make new friends.

whatfml 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:30

it doesn't want to hang with you, it's stuck in a cage

ibmike22 13

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:01

i wish i had a guinea pig:( oh well, the only friend i need is my fridge

sauce31 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:01

how did my comment get moderated? anyone?

selenagirl_fml 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 3:35

is it doggy play-day today??

selenagirl_fml 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 3:43

awww crap, I missed it! I wanted to bring my chihuahua... she has anger issues... lol

selenagirl_fml 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:49

nhbasskid13 23

Saturday 24 August 2013 15:11

Well what did it say?

956TXking 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:02

Loser

Beach4life 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:03

i had a guinea pig once but it died 16 days after i got it

Nightxx 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:03

Poor thing....I meant the guinea pig.

LuckySecret23 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:03

ahhh. sad! haha sorry.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 30 148

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 115

You deserved it 3 275

The Top

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 767

You deserved it 2 715

Today, in basketball practice my coach was putting is in teams to run drills. He points to me and says, "You, go babysit my son by the stage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 148

You deserved it 3 037

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 975

You deserved it 3 406

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 676

You deserved it 33 475

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 608

You deserved it 21 646

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313 717

You deserved it 44 057

Same thing different taste

What a cozy moment

Top comments

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