Nice neighborhood you've got here

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 868
You deserved it 4 098

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I have a neighbor who threatens to shoot me with his nail gun if i step in his yard :/

FYLDeep 25

Bring a shotgun out to your back yard and kick another one over the fence. Then wait...

Comments

I have a neighbor who threatens to shoot me with his nail gun if i step in his yard :/

That's really cheerful. Thanks for sharing.

ikickgingers 15

My neighbors make me cookies. :P

My neighbors kick gingers. It's an odd pastime.

me_gusta_eso 1

Throw the remains in a lake and tell them that that will be them if they threaten you again.

Umm.. How do they see the note/the remains, if it's in a lake?

Free_Candy 0

3, I have one that follows you with a stick and threatens to beat you if you go past his yard.

Nail guns do not actually shoot. They would have to pin you down and press it to your body for anything to happen... If that helps.

#3 and OP - I'd suggest hurling a brick(s) into their yard then call the cops if they lob them through your house

Wat!! He's gonna kill u?? Damn too much man he's gone too far!! Call da cops man!!

LUCKY!!! My cross-street neighbor gives me da look in her eye like when I'm riding my bike just around she just stares at me, creepy rite??

Yup. OP lives on Elm street. Where the dreams are whacky, and the neighbors insane.

MagicGiraffe 12
Muslimgal92 0

Rednecks are everywhere it's a spreading disease!!!

Pandaloverr 0

Throw the football back with a note that says come and find me (:

Damn_Hippster 11

Slash their car tires and then see who has the last slash!

n_epic_fail 14

It's the Slash Slinging Slasher!

57 I believe it's the Hash Slinging Slasher

24, do you know that in England "having a slash" is another phrase for pissing?

But 24, anyone psycho enough to do that just because the football was on their lawn is surely psycho enough to hunt down and maim the person who slashed their tires!!!

put a bouncing betty at their front door than throw the football...

oreobunbun 3

This isn't goddamn call of duty, dumbass

bitchslapped22 14

Yeah, then we can all AC-130 the shit out of his house, that'll show him

xSonic 9

23- not everything refers to call of duty

#71, you moron, where else do you get a bouncing betty?

kings1fan 6

its like you guys are speaking another language. I need to start playin call of duty hahahah

3yellowzebras 19

Bouncing Betty is used in Borderlands too :-/

But you can't place them. They just bounce into the air when the blow up.

Buttsexpirate 9

Try baseball, or soccer! Or maybe, how about flag football? So many options!

Since OP lives in the UK, I believe when he says "football", he means what we call soccer.

I wish everyone just called it FOOTBALL! That would make life simpler

n_epic_fail 14

I don't see why America had to go and call it soccer...

HahaYDI 0

The word "soccer" was originated by an English chap, so go ask him why.

If everyone called it football, what would we call American football?

xoconnie 8

how would playing flag football make a difference? WOWWWWWWWWWW. u still throw the football you idiot hahahahah

Wouldnt it be futbol if op meant soccer and not football?

No they speak English in the UK ..futbol= Spanish for football

Tell your neighbor to back off, then ask him/her why you can't have some fun

Pump it full of mace and let them slash it open. And then a note that says don't destroy my property.

You know, they got that new team in England now called the Rippers, their mascot name is Jack...hmm, maybe the mascot is your neighbor

That's London Ontario not London England

Then take there dog and do the same thing... Except write something like "it'll be in your face if it barks again". ... Did I go too far? I did? Oops.

Just put some grenades in that football at throw it inside their house!

bossroyd 4

Seriously? Only a terrorist could come up with something like that