Miscellaneous: Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up...

By beleria - 23/04/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 2 892

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Same thing different taste

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 461

By rescuetheduck - 10/04/2012 19:26 - Finland - Joensuu

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 947

You deserved it 7 278

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 995

You deserved it 1 805

Lawyer up

By gnofin - 22/03/2016 21:23 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 558

You deserved it 3 043

Are you OK?

By dxplq876 - 17/03/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 926

You deserved it 4 674

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 712

You deserved it 10 115

Helicopter parents

By I apologize on behalf of my mother - 14/05/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 101

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 756

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 666

You deserved it 47 763

By DatAss - 15/01/2016 10:56

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 007

You deserved it 2 465

Radix 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:26

It was me, sorry :)

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

Comments

Radix 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:26

It was me, sorry :)

comedybreak 20

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:32

O.o hit and run? I'm trying this *me gusta face*

iiTsAJ 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:38

Maybe it was yourself o.O

Cad6 24

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:39

Well, You didn't have to do it "viciously". That just makes it sound disturbing.

Priscilla43 2

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:58

that sucks ass.

bitch_pleez 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:30

I think it slaps ass, actually

JayJaysGirl 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:47

Damn horny ninjas

xcarxcrashx 9

Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:13

He liked your melons.

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:23

I thought melons were considered boobs

Exodus9 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:30

They are 95 is just dumb

SmoshFan6 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:38

Watch out, those tomatoes are feisty.

bearnblue 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:43

It actually was me >;)

rdrr 2

Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:17

Did you call T.A.P.S. ?

NoisyButters 7

Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:25

Apparently it must taste pretty good.

williamh327 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 5:04

Or it was... Dementia!!!! Dun dun dun!

idntwannaknow 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 5:12

One time I thought this kid was poking me, so I told him to stop multiple times... Turns out my shirt tag was just in a weird position haha.

ajeppsen 25

Tuesday 24 April 2012 6:31

We need this for first cooments. Lol hit n run.

mikeofthunder 13

Tuesday 24 April 2012 9:15

107- she's not eating it, but licking it.. Like the woman who does reviews with, I think, IGN? Makes me want to play x-box more actually

m0hami01 2

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:40

Little people are so sneaky.

NoisyButters 7

Tuesday 24 April 2012 17:58

168 - I hope you know that not all girl gamers lick their controllers while playing games...only the ones who want attention.

ImDaBes 6

Tuesday 24 April 2012 21:14

183 - Well its working

alitairi 18

Sunday 11 January 2015 6:19

says the girl with a picture of a ds in her mouth...

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

X_Codes 11

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:40

Or a Jedi. You know, that whole "no emotional bonds" thing...

cheaptrix 6

Tuesday 24 April 2012 4:14

Or the fruit ninjas

trollfaced 2

Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:23

Or the ghost casper

Webslinger66 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:30

Paranormal Activity.... Grocery store setting this time

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Take it as a compliment! Although lock your doors and windows when you get home...

obviousboy 8

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:46

Locked doors an windows do not stop ninjas.

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:59

Looking behind doesn't help either. Just remove your ass.

Sixers01 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 6:09

I may be exagerating just a bit but, I swear you're one of the first ten in every single ******* recent FML.. I think it's time to get some sunshine buddy..

anzie_fml 9

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:29

141- if you took time to read all of their comments, or at least recognize that they've commented a lot, you may also be "in need of sunshine". Jussayin.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 24 April 2012 9:22

141 - You want to know how I comment in the first 10 a lot? I can't, it's a well guarded secret! Oh, I want to see the sunshine but my studies stop me going outside.