By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 22:05 - United States - Kapolei

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 726
You deserved it 4 401
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Top comments

\ 28

(toe enters mouth) "Didn't mean to wake you." (moves foot away) -Glenn Quagmire

218 3
SharnaaaBanana 22

Oh alright, that's interesting.

159 8

Comments

SharnaaaBanana 22

Oh alright, that's interesting.

159 8
AbstraktThoughts 13

If that's not creepy as ****, I don't know what is.

26 2
Demonfish 14

Well, seeing as you asked: waking up to a random guy screaming the lion sleeps tonight, in a banana suit, while furiously masterbating. That would be pretty damn creepy.

45 3
NeoMatrix25 12

17 - I think I know a guy like that downtown.

23 2
182yellowgreen41 10

People can be weird. I woke up to my friend sniffing my ear one day

10 1
Abbbiiieeeeeeeee 16

I'm so curious as to what you did in response to this 0.0

74 1
groovycrazyjoe 18

I stop reading after stroking face with bottom

0 5
\ 28

(toe enters mouth) "Didn't mean to wake you." (moves foot away) -Glenn Quagmire

218 3
\ 28

...on another tangent, I still think "The Cleveland Show" is a joke. If anyone was to have his own spin-off series, it should've been Quagmire. My $0.02

52 12
TheRandomIndian 17

12 just go watch ****.

2 38
RpiesSPIES 27

#12 This is the U.S., Quagmire having a spin-off series wouldn't (or couldn't) be broadcasted here. Also, I feel the same about The Cleveland Show.

6 3
Danielle7994 18

Oh 18, I get it lol. At first I was like "...What the hell made you think of ****?". But after reading it more than once and then remembering how perverted Quagmire is, I was like "Ahh... I see how that's relevent to 12's proposal."

1 4
PiNkMoOn 9

i would've killed him!

4 29
ileenefudge 29

Why resort to violence?

1 8
patrickalamo 47

This is why many sleep with a gun under their pillow

8 2
monnanon 13

gripping their pillow tight!

3 1
RedPillSucks 31

That's typically so you don't wake up with someones dick in your ass.

3 1
\ 28

Wow, way to reveal our hidden fetishes, #6.

12 2
alstbv12 13

*checks for over 18* Yes please.

7 1
Zen_Mei 17

#39 It involves shoving a foot up your arse

2 5
RedPillSucks 31

Either massaging someones foot, or someone using their feet to give you a ********. I'm afraid to use google or urban dictionary after the "blue waffles", "2 girls, one cup", and "two men, one horse" incidents.

5 0
CrissyyyS2 22

^comment was for 55 : thought since you knew what a blue waffle was... Maybe you'd know what a spotted dick was. Yes yes... It sounds really... It's just a dish.

0 0
evilraider 5

Think about it.. It could have been worse he could have been stroking with something else

57 1
Zen_Mei 17

And that 'something else' could have slipped into your mouth

15 1
fsomelife 26

A time to literally interpret the phrase "go break a leg." Someone else's leg. Off. But I am a bit curious about how he was standing.

1 17
brittlehorn20 21

The FML doesn't say he was standing.

5 0
fsomelife 26

If he was lying down, I think this would've been a very different FML.

5 1
theworldismad 10

most people have 2 legs. it isn't that hard to stand on one leg while lifting your other leg to bed height

0 0
aaronh212 6

Her? What FML are you reading? Apparently not the same one as me.

10 1