Miscellaneous: Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together....

By arse-face - 28/06/2013 23:22 - Ireland - Caher

Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 998

You deserved it 4 866

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Same thing different taste

Night on the tiles

By obese_chicken - 06/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 8 342

By I Tried - 29/01/2016 22:18 - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 453

You deserved it 3 642

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 640

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 3 408

By intranator - 08/04/2009 21:43 - Jordan

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 937

You deserved it 9 693

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 021

You deserved it 7 905

By Jon - 14/05/2012 21:46 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 713

You deserved it 6 235

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 197

Hott

By uglyone - 13/01/2010 14:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the subway station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced, "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 3 439

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 15:32 - Canada

Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone except me. Then one of them said, "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 851

You deserved it 3 863

DerrickJames 33

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:17

Those aren't your friends.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:18

Shitty bouncer. Shittier friends.

Comments

DerrickJames 33

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:17

Those aren't your friends.

diiiinkleberg 13

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:28

I like how the first two comments are nearly identical

diiiinkleberg 13

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:33

Never mind, I read it wrong, lol ignore me

SumBur 11

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:53

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

miasaur 11

Saturday 29 June 2013 6:27

lol @ the reply comments

Llama_Face89 33

Saturday 29 June 2013 13:29

The stupid hurts my head...

KeXu 6

Saturday 29 June 2013 15:04

Troll senses tingling. Did someone edit their comment?

Poochavist 11

Sunday 30 June 2013 5:56

No one wants to see your 'lol'

ColdplaySucks 18

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:17

Those asshats aren't your friends.

diiiinkleberg 13

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:31

Throw shit like a monkey at the bouncer, and when they bitch at you just say "I'm only validating your point"

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 29 June 2013 7:11

How does PROVING their point help her?

ajkwilso 8

Saturday 29 June 2013 16:29

It doesn't help her but that whole situation just gives her permission to act wild and get payback

AestheticGuy 21

Tuesday 9 July 2013 7:14

@25 LOL I laughed way too hard at that....

lu95 16

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

RoboCunnilingus 23

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:27

Red face. I get it.

SWhimsynBubbaS 14

Saturday 29 June 2013 6:41

Hm. I love how people automatically blame being "ugly" by having too much make-up or not 'enough'. I do admit sometimes with too much make-up it can go a little overboard but that doesn't make someone an "arse face" in this case, but putting it on doesn't exactly turn you into a beauty queen. Sorry about what happened to you, OP. On the bright side you no longer have fake friends!

Pinkgal123 24

Saturday 29 June 2013 20:28

Your a bitch, you know?

pinguino3669_fml 23

Saturday 29 June 2013 22:23

Makeup doesn't define beauty.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:18

Shitty bouncer. Shittier friends.

kurodansei 16

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:23

Shitty solution, throw feces at him to prove his point.

obsquire 5

Saturday 29 June 2013 9:09

Proving his point won't help.

AestheticGuy 21

Tuesday 9 July 2013 6:49

No offense but the bouncer had every right to let in who he thinks is good for the club. I just hope that OP isnt naturally ugly and she just needs to present herself better.

mim777 4

Tuesday 30 July 2013 17:48

however funny it may be :)

gmian 34

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:18

Sorry, OP. Probably aren't your real friends then :( at least you now know!

Speibrand 10

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:19

Well, I guess you can use that time to find better friends

mrdinofly 6

Sunday 30 June 2013 21:00

You'd have no idea how hard it is making friends when you don't have friends in the first place.

glamorous18 10

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:19

sorry honey, those aren't your real friends. try finding people you can trust & rely on.

truesarrif 33

Saturday 29 June 2013 5:20

that's when the slip of a 20$ bill in a hand shake comes in handy. and once you're inside slip another bouncer another 20 to toss your friends back out since they were going in without you.