Miscellaneous: Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway...

By what have i done with my life - 21/07/2013 17:46 - United States - Akron

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 645

You deserved it 6 022

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Source?

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 15:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 216

You deserved it 6 088

Childish

By jade - 11/01/2022 17:01

Today, I was talking to a guy when he pointed behind me and said, “Hey, what’s that?” I looked behind me and he burst out laughing, saying he “can’t believe I’m so stupid that I still fall for that old trick.” We were having a conversation, not a physical fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 156

By BannedfromFriend - 20/05/2015 23:21 - United States

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 834

You deserved it 10 923

You're so vain…

By Anonymous - 17/01/2022 05:01

Today, my girlfriend of two years took offense to a "That's what she said joke", and blew up, saying she doesn't like those jokes. She thinks that she is the "She" of the jokes every time I guess. I tried explaining how the jokes work, but she wouldn't believe me. She says that I'm just lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 407

By fakelaugher - 20/12/2010 03:41 - United States

Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 296

You deserved it 24 296

It's all downhill from here…

By Tree Hugger - 22/12/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I went skiing with a friend of mine. He went first. I heard a loud *THUD* and went to investigate. When I went past him, he yelled, "I ran into a tree. I don't feel so good!" He said it in such a defeated and humorous way, that I crashed into a tree myself because I couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 894

By AnonymousAmber - 31/10/2014 23:10 - United States - Yadkinville

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 167

You deserved it 2 868

Be careful, please!

By WolfsScar - 08/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 553

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 503

You deserved it 1 644

By Anonymous - 04/11/2013 11:39

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 068

You deserved it 71 983

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 July 2013 2:13

Well, it is a natural reaction when you're getting blown.

beclaurela 18

Monday 22 July 2013 2:17

The wind just penetrates the branches relentlessly. What else would happen?

Comments

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 July 2013 2:13

Well, it is a natural reaction when you're getting blown.

roro_superloser 13

Monday 22 July 2013 2:26

& when there's a especially powerful wind when the trees are next to one another. That's what they call a orgy.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Monday 22 July 2013 2:51

Hell, don't we all sway a little to the left when we ******?

Wizardo 33

Monday 22 July 2013 2:53

Don't we all groan and creek a little too? I mean some even bend all the way back...

Lennes 12

Monday 22 July 2013 7:20

Can you imagine what tornados do to them? Lucky bastards.

Nicostream 16

Monday 22 July 2013 10:15

#1 I hereby announce that I've found an actually good pun on fml. I may die in peace now.

beclaurela 18

Monday 22 July 2013 2:17

The wind just penetrates the branches relentlessly. What else would happen?

s13495 19

Monday 22 July 2013 2:53

There's a tiny bit of logic behind it... When the wind blows the trees seeds may be knocked down. I think sycamore trees do this, the little spinning helicopter type seed (maybe have the wrong name)

zach205 24

Sunday 7 February 2016 21:26

24, that's nothing compared to cottonwood trees. They are the ones that release the seads that look surrounded in cotton, they in such abundance that it makes huge piles in corners.