Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the...

By wtf - 10/01/2014 16:47 - United States - Delmar

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 045

You deserved it 4 983

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Same thing different taste

By cheese123 - 03/01/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 281

You deserved it 3 216

By dummy - 22/05/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my grandpa took out the family for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turn around without thinking and give him a big hug and say thanks for dinner Grandpa. It wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 304

You deserved it 44 910

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 141

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 342

You deserved it 7 303

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 16:17 - United Kingdom - Uddingston

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 160

You deserved it 3 975

Foot in mouth

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 04:48 - Australia

Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 869

You deserved it 25 976

Sorry grandma

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 17:01

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 161

Could go either way, tbh

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 321

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 102

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 913

You deserved it 2 355

sunnyray812 42

Friday 10 January 2014 22:05

Family members don't count.

Teyros 24

Friday 10 January 2014 22:05

You can tell your friends, but I think you'd rather forget that happening. Sorry it's kinda funny OP :P

Comments

sunnyray812 42

Friday 10 January 2014 22:05

Family members don't count.

Ebolaconflict 11

Friday 10 January 2014 22:06

my mom says they count!

EmmaMK 35

Friday 10 January 2014 22:12

Incest, the game the whole family can play.

_ashole 10

Friday 10 January 2014 23:05

Aside from the fact that the kiss was given from grandpa it was a sweet gesture...

spoo 24

Friday 10 January 2014 23:38

it does if the OP was kissing back :o

SonOfAMitch 14

Friday 10 January 2014 23:53

It sounds like a sweet gesture -- but the fact that he took her face in both hands... euggh

chosha_fml 26

Saturday 11 January 2014 14:34

#37 No, it wasn't. It was creepy.

thecman25 14

Monday 5 January 2015 22:06

im guessing that you had experience?

Teyros 24

Friday 10 January 2014 22:05

You can tell your friends, but I think you'd rather forget that happening. Sorry it's kinda funny OP :P

LaurenLo 17

Friday 10 January 2014 23:25

Hopefully it was meant in an endearing way, and not anything else!

Emiler98 11

Friday 10 January 2014 23:28

This would be even weirder if op is a guy

xsilentxninjax 10

Thursday 13 February 2014 13:16

I think it's more disturbing than funny...

MrsDruidess 23

Friday 10 January 2014 22:05

wow. . . what could you possibly say to that. . . thanks Gramps?

meggles4eva 8

Friday 10 January 2014 22:05

awk

Welshite 39

Friday 10 January 2014 22:43

If you are going to make annoying animal noises, make sure you're accurate. It's "squawk".

buckeyed 20

Friday 10 January 2014 22:06

Doesn't matter; got kissed.

Kyuzomi 12

Friday 10 January 2014 22:17

She just got kissed by her family member on the lips. It does matter.

buckeyed 20

Friday 10 January 2014 22:24

I was playing off the "doesn't matter; had sex" joke. Thus, it's a joke.

amc597 28

Saturday 11 January 2014 2:38

I don't think OP enjoyed it if it's on FML.

EmmaMK 35

Friday 10 January 2014 22:07

Gross! You need to work out if you need to tell someone. Was it humour or just wrong?

jondivey 9

Friday 10 January 2014 23:24

****

bloodierframe30 16

Saturday 11 January 2014 0:07

AliceLockehart 18

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:14

Sideways?

xsilentxninjax 10

Thursday 13 February 2014 13:21

Either way, it's wrong... no one should randomly just kiss you like that, even if they are a family member.

evan_7899 28

Friday 10 January 2014 22:08

I Love that grandpa, and did you enjoy it?

noobienick 19

Saturday 11 January 2014 0:00

What the hell is wrong with you?

NashyzzleTheN 10

Saturday 11 January 2014 0:13

Ew why would you ask that

oreyoes 15

Friday 10 January 2014 22:08

That is weird and disgusting of him, FYL indeed.

perdix 29

Friday 10 January 2014 22:08

Did he slip you some tongue?

tacojauns 45

Friday 10 January 2014 22:37

Nope but she got a little bit of denture

OctoDope 15

Friday 10 January 2014 23:46

Oh ya, just the thought of tasting polygrip gives me a hard on

ABillOnFire 15

Saturday 11 January 2014 4:49

*gag*

pdp_fml 21

Saturday 11 January 2014 10:27

Gross!

McNikk 15

Friday 10 January 2014 22:08

You should've pushed him away!

Jabberwockyy 13

Friday 10 January 2014 22:45

Sock Grandpa right in his dentures !

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 25 551

You deserved it 49 637

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 640

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, after a hard day, I allowed myself a small solitary pleasure. As I was going at it, all of a sudden a little red dot appeared on my penis. A pimple? Nope. The laser that my neighbors were using to show me that I'd forgotten to close my curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 675

You deserved it 6 057

Today, my mom told me to be my sister’s maid of honor at her wedding or I’m out of her will. She says if I don’t go, I’m being selfish, and she wants to see her “baby girls” bonding one last time before she dies. I would gladly go if my sister wasn’t marrying my ex-husband, who cheated on me with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 122

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 2 728

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 177

You deserved it 16 610

Today, I found out the reason my mom took over 9 months to get me a therapist and much needed help after I told her how I had been depressed and suicidal for over two months. It wasn't because it was hard to find one, but actually because she thought I was making it up to cushion the fact that I got a C in a class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 152

Today, I caught my brother masturbating into my underwear. Again. Our parents punished him, again, but I can guarantee he’ll carry on doing it anyway. Why can’t I afford my own house yet? I need to move out away from this creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 227

Same thing different taste

Take it down!

Foot in mouth

Sorry grandma

Could go either way, tbh

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