Miscellaneous: Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 284

You deserved it 3 662

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Foufinator - 04/10/2009 19:33 - France

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 131

You deserved it 3 561

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 960

You deserved it 4 787

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 192

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 3 657

By wellesleybanana - 17/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 234

You deserved it 4 686

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 026

You deserved it 2 643

Tasty

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 14:30 - United States

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 717

You deserved it 6 836

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 276

You deserved it 4 595

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 327

You deserved it 16 753

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 819

Next

Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:18

Did it come with a side order of Chicken Flied Lice, too? That would bug me.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:17

Oh good lord...that's disgusting... Hope you can get a refund....

Comments

Welshite 39

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:17

What?! Roaches are delicious! Don't be wasting food now, OP.

SmuggletheBudgie 15

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:45

Yeah considering we will have to start eating insects soon as the world food supply dwindles, We should probably start getting a taste for em now. Tuck into ya roaches!

JustinKirby 20

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:55

OP hasn't sued them for all they are worth, otherwise it wouldn't be an FML

coried91 28

Saturday 8 February 2014 2:41

Welshite, you just made me throw up in my mouth a little...

smokecloud_ 37

Saturday 8 February 2014 5:07

How DARE you insult bacon in such a way?! I'm appalled!!

FangirlingAlways 14

Saturday 8 February 2014 5:34

32, I just baby barfed. Yuck

StiffPvtParts 43

Saturday 8 February 2014 8:55

Why is #32's comment being thumbed down? His comment had the word "bacon" in it. You can't say no to bacon :c

zsxwrsd 7

Sunday 9 February 2014 2:04

**** you i can take a joke! *down votes*

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:17

Oh good lord...that's disgusting... Hope you can get a refund....

andrewturtle 16

Saturday 8 February 2014 15:29

At least it wasn't a hundred baby spiders :|

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 8 February 2014 18:24

Too bad she didn't find it first like a smiler FML...

Robbieisadowg 16

Sunday 9 February 2014 18:21

Atleast it wasn't a thumb.

hexo21 13

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:18

Yeah lets just hope it wasn't too diseased

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:18

Did it come with a side order of Chicken Flied Lice, too? That would bug me.

polishguy05 15

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:20

Looks like you'll never be ordering there again

StompinOnCrayons 15

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:21

Next on Bear Grylls Survival : Cockroaches equal a tasty protein feast

nchic01 17

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:21

takeaway?

olpally 32

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:21

Glad I haven't eaten dinner yet. Lol yuck!

wanted_2_want 40

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:27

You should post the name of the restaurant so people can avoid repeating the experience. Sorry OP

Chellec2013 28

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:29

Call up the Health Inspector, that needs to be taken care of.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 031

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 176

The Top

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist's, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw that I chose fair, she mumbled, "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 593

You deserved it 4 246

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 460

You deserved it 8 891

Today, I had six long hours with the same math teacher. To get home, I travel by bus. Guess who sat down next to me for the whole trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 36

Today, as I recently starting having a huge crush on this one guy, my friend told me she told him about the crush, and that he reacted positively. I made a move, only to find out he has a partner. I've tried distancing myself to get over him but he befriended all my friends and is now in our group chat, and the crush has only intensified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 130

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 2 852