Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and...

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 096

You deserved it 6 143

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 022

You deserved it 7 905

By snitchovich - 27/05/2009 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 859

You deserved it 6 046

Whassup?

By Anonymous - 26/02/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 208

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 507

You deserved it 4 074

Thanks?

By Anonymous - 23/12/2017 06:00

Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 222

You deserved it 580

By beccaj_ilh - 06/09/2009 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 695

You deserved it 6 817

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 652

You deserved it 8 436

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 502

You deserved it 4 177

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 505

You deserved it 5 016

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 774

You deserved it 6 017

ZiggyMorrison 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 1:24

I personally LOVE small **** and so do alot of guys so dont feel bad about it

dreamingloser 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 1:24

hahahaha this guy is laughing at you because he has bigger **** than you? ha that's funny. You should have laughed and said, "yeah chubby, you do", pat his stomach and say "when are you do?" unless he's not that fat..

Comments

Curtieeeez 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 1:21

Unlucky XD

OffTJHook3r 2

Tuesday 2 August 2011 5:50

I'll be the judge of that O.o

OffTJHook3r 2

Tuesday 2 August 2011 5:52

Today I won 1st and 3rd in a wet shirt contest.

volleyballluver 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 1:22

hahaha

newbieattech 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 1:22

THIRD!!!!!!! anyway, that really sucks. as a D cup i would gladly give you the extra!

CassT 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 1:22

FHL, not FYL. YDI for thinking he was going to hit on you.

ffmmllyaya 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 1:03

why? what else do u expect when an opposite sex checks you out n sit next to you in a bar?

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Sunday 3 October 2010 21:18

fhl. today I was in a bar and realized that I'm such a fat lard that I bigger moobs than most girls. fml

gcendana 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 1:23

FYL indeed. bahah you should get fatter then!

SupKev 0

Friday 10 December 2010 9:33

your stupid

LolAtYourFail 12

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:43

*facepalm* the irony.

ZiggyMorrison 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 1:24

I personally LOVE small **** and so do alot of guys so dont feel bad about it

dandancc 13

Sunday 21 February 2010 21:33

Yeah, listen to him. I love small **** too. He is just a fat kid trying to be funny to fit in, but in the end all his "friends" just think of how pathetic he is and don't really care for his friendship probably. I bet he was just feeling bad because would never be able to kiss a girl like you.

Jazze_fml 10

Friday 1 July 2011 1:17

oh yeah let's go with that asumption. i mean who could possibly like a fat person. obviously his friends must secretly hate him since he's fat... you honestly sound like one of the biggest douches ever.