Miscellaneous: Life goals

Life goals

By efmylife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know what's more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 232

You deserved it 7 299

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Same thing different taste

By SwoopingEagle - 09/06/2017 20:00

Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 831

You deserved it 1 315

Trashed

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 653

You deserved it 7 289

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 03:58 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 123

You deserved it 36 607

Pile up

By shark - 27/11/2012 03:03 - United States - Houston

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile, and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 662

You deserved it 31 892

By ManagerWithoutRespect - 05/12/2016 05:14 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 932

You deserved it 883

The shot of a lifetime

By Epic Fail - 10/10/2022 08:30 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to throw a basketball in my backyard basketball hoop. It bounced off the board, hit me on the head, then hit a spray can, activating it and spraying black paint all over my Golden Retriever, to finally land in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 214

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 220

By akieferr - 03/09/2014 02:41 - United States

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 797

You deserved it 14 781

By bobuhbeartoe - 24/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 19 994

By stupidity - 25/05/2012 19:30 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 780

You deserved it 39 011

Hacksaw 4

Friday 23 October 2009 12:08

You should have yelled out "SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!" after you got it in.

giganticbrain 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:09

Good for you man. Not many people can do that.

Comments

atam09 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:06

what a loser. get a life

raNDMGUy 5

Friday 23 October 2009 14:35

lmao it's sadder when you missed, now at least you've accomplished something

touchableturtle 0

Friday 23 October 2009 22:06

this isn't an FML. stop wallowing in your self pity. quit whining.

MartinDenStore 0

Monday 26 October 2009 0:06

GZ for finally making it!!! :D

validus 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 9:40

he shoots he scores!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X3

Emily9352 13

Wednesday 18 July 2012 17:06

Are you kidding? OP is a ******* champ. Respect your superiors.

Hacksaw 4

Friday 23 October 2009 12:08

You should have yelled out "SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!" after you got it in.

Zezing 0

Friday 23 October 2009 18:33

KKOBBBEE

Zezing 0

Friday 23 October 2009 19:50

There's an iPhone app for this.

TheWicked 4

Sunday 16 May 2010 15:42

there's one for androids as well!

7mood75 7

Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:18

Both are really really sad.

giganticbrain 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:09

Good for you man. Not many people can do that.

Turnip_Girl 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:17

Congrats on making the shot! :Db

Aspie 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:19

At least you learn to treasure the little pleasures in life.

bosshaug 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:21

Its good thing I don't give a shit cause if I did you might have gotten a rude comment

ShadowlessSpear 21

Monday 20 July 2015 8:09

How logic are you?

ILIEKGIRLS 5

Friday 23 October 2009 12:22

OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *awkward silence* :/

KatieGoesRawrr 0

Friday 23 October 2009 13:23

somethin I would do....

dacho 7

Friday 23 October 2009 13:08

Still no "I don't give a **** :(" button, eh? :(

aero_fml 0

Friday 23 October 2009 13:48

Yeah I've been waiting for one of those for awhile!

Wet_Dream 0

Friday 23 October 2009 13:12

who cares?! its fun to do and enjoy it! you think to much.. not everything you do have to be soooooooow important!

Maxine17 8

Friday 23 October 2009 13:19

If at first you don't succeed, try try...and try again for 3 years.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Awkward Dentist Health Shopping My ex Love Cats Animals Work Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Family Holidays AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Food Ironic Technology

The Top

Today, I came home from class to find a nasty note on my roommate's toaster oven. Apparently, cleaning it once a week isn't enough, and she wants it cleaned right after using it, which she never told me all school year. I'm banned from using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 330

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 738

You deserved it 4 239

The Top

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 076

You deserved it 3 006

Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer "Dad." I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 170

Today, my boyfriend tried to use his “grief” at the death of a coworker to get butt sex, even though I know for a fact he didn’t like the guy that much, and just last week wished for the guy to get hit by a bus. Pretty despicable way to try get back door access if you ask me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 339

You deserved it 474

Today, against my wishes, my wife insisted we let my horrible mother meet her first grandson. This is a woman who refuses to learn basic English, but for the sake of insulting my wife who doesn’t speak Chinese, she still managed to say in English, “Baby so ugly, you do better with next one.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 128

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 11 142

Today, it's common knowledge that Lana Del Rey is a no-talent hack. Yet, she has more daily Spotify streams than Ed Sheeran, Adele, Michael Jackson, Beyoncé, Bon Jovi, Radiohead, AC/DC, Robbie Williams, ABBA, Céline Dion, the Backstreet Boys, and the Beatles. Music is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 887