Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While...

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 589

You deserved it 3 580

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Same thing different taste

Drama Llama

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 201

You deserved it 10 113

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 401

You deserved it 4 695

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 080

You deserved it 3 820

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 106

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 12:33 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 682

Pranked, level 2000

By Poopyhead - 08/11/2009 19:14 - Ireland

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 15 734

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 314

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 731

You deserved it 2 734

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 751

You deserved it 2 025

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 206

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:36

It's like animal bukkake... but with other non-seminal bodily fluids.

shamandalie_fml 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:39

ewww

Comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:36

It's like animal bukkake... but with other non-seminal bodily fluids.

xCrackerx 3

Sunday 8 November 2009 10:00

So then it's not bukkake.

suaveneanderthal 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 19:26

actually #8 bukkake has taken on many other forms then just semen particularly involving urine or woman ejaculate. google "lesbian bukkake" or "piss bukkake" and you'll see that bukkake is no longer reserved for 50 guys cuming on one japanese girl. The word bukkake is actually japanese for "to splash" not anything strictly semen related. But it did start out that way.

momoimmortal 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:48

uhm... I think this is a fake fml!!!

superman312 0

Monday 3 May 2010 23:49

YDI

liindsey 25

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:39

embaressed*

tamoodielovesmar 1

Thursday 12 May 2011 5:07

thats what op put......

Xx_Slayer_xX 22

Friday 12 August 2016 8:45

....you. You're funny.

shamandalie_fml 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:39

ewww

KWifey305 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:49

wow maybe you smell bad

Ninjaface 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:50

You should never go on safari.

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 8 November 2009 9:52

Yeah, Firefox FTW

bittercup 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 10:05

Domesticated deer? A miracle!

nokillnobeepbeep 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 10:33

Mmmm beer... Oh, oh deer? "Hello there! Time again for a small belt of culture." Russians have been domesticating moose for years. They are actually milking them at the moose farm. It just isn't very profitable and is mostly experimental. And 20 brownie points if you know where that quote is from!

StaticDown 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 18:18

The quote is Bullwinkle!!! From the Rocky and Bullwinkle show!!! I loved watching that as a kid!

956TXking 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 10:09

grab it by the tail and swing it around a couple of times.

JaneDoe_71 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 10:35

Swinging fetish much?

amatayo 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 10:29

See little is known that Bambies mom pulled this crap on a hunter when he was small. And we all saw what happened. (Wink wink)

flipstar530 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:26

Bastard

xxchilloutxx 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 10:56

See ydi a bit, when a llama's going to spit, it puts it's ears back and looks really mean beforehand, it didn't like what you were doing, you should have read the signs and stopped...