Kids and Parents: Got 'em

Got 'em

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 06:50 - United States

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying, "Yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 359

You deserved it 47 782

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Under pressure

By No Pressure - 06/07/2022 04:00

Today, my mom asked me out of the blue if I was ever going to consider getting married. It wasn't until after the conversation ended that I remembered my siblings are all either single like I am, or incapable of having children. I am my mother's last hope of becoming a grandma, and she reminds me all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 949

You deserved it 1 975

By Stupendous_ - 03/12/2012 07:17 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 448

You deserved it 2 551

By loser - 02/03/2016 00:20 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, my mum asked when she's getting grandkids. I had to tell her that, at 21 years-old, I hadn't even managed to get a boyfriend yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 593

You deserved it 1 647

Vessels

By failed brood mare - 17/11/2013 17:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 766

You deserved it 3 129

The matchmaker

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 07:30

Today, my mom has been aggressively trying to get me to marry one of her coworkers, who is around my age. Apparently she loves her like the daughter she always wanted, and since it would be silly to adopt her; she is determined she will be her daughter-in-law instead, whether I like it or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 21/06/2009 08:50 - Australia

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 190

You deserved it 4 023

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 87

Don't mess with Texas

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé expressed concern for her mother's health and a desire to be with her in Texas. I called her mother, who is 69 years young and will outlive us all, and it came up that her brother's BFF, who my fiancé has been crushing on since she was a tween, just got divorced and moved back to Texas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 93

Supportive

By bopbop - 20/05/2009 01:21 - United States

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 082

You deserved it 4 371

YoungE 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:14

lol what happened can joke but not take it?

SliceNthrice 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:05

snapppp

Comments

SliceNthrice 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:05

snapppp

soccer060 0

Monday 8 February 2010 6:07

dam rite

ILikePopCorn 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 21:58

YDI for being a lonely bastard and for starting with your mom.

VDG_fml 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 18:27

touché

getwild 0

Friday 9 April 2010 9:12

u got mama owned...

sugababy234565 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 17:38

at least she didn't say it JUST to you.

pipp360 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:07

sucks for you

Josk95 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 10:30

no he deserves it

girlygirl666 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:11

I guess she told you, huh?

YoungE 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:14

lol what happened can joke but not take it?

crankyinthemorn 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:19

Lolol....BURN!

junying 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:21

PWNED!

littleredrider 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:21

ahahaha. best comeback ever.

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:26

Don't dish it out if you can't take it yourself.

Shystai 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:43

YDI, your mom does a lot for you. So what if she's old? Jerk.

failuristic 3

Wednesday 20 January 2010 16:50

Er... YDI for not being able to take your own joke thrown back at you? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 049

You deserved it 21 145

Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 556

You deserved it 4 813

The Top

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 398

You deserved it 3 012

Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 003

You deserved it 2 616

Today, I took my girlfriend to see the new Avatar movie I’ve waited over 10 years to see. After it was over, she just said, "That was utter shite, why did you bring me here?" Entire experience ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 960

Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 116

Today, my partner and I were both horny at the same time. I entertained our 3 kids while he jerked off, then he entertained them while I went and masturbated. We live together and this is the first time we’ve been horny at the same time since Christmas, because we’re both so exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 427

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 228

You deserved it 5 757