By Jen - 09/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 807
You deserved it 2 749
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Top comments

DrAwesome 6

"Ma'am, please tell your husband to get off of the ground and change himself. We need to continue this investigation."

65 1
PurplePigeon 0

I'm pretty sure once the cops get there and see a poo covered, crumby fat guy sleeping on your floor...they won't be able to deny it. :/ that would scare me immensely to come home to something like that.

62 0

Comments

Einstein714 0

get out the magic markers and have some fun before the fuzz arrives

1 1
LOLSWAT 0

beat the **** out of him with a shovel and put a small angry rabid animal with lots of sharp teeth and claws in his pants then kick him down an up escalator

3 6
purplehayes60 8

if you tell the cops you shot him they would have no choice but to come to you and see for themselfs lol

0 1
PurplePigeon 0

I'm pretty sure once the cops get there and see a poo covered, crumby fat guy sleeping on your floor...they won't be able to deny it. :/ that would scare me immensely to come home to something like that.

62 0
marinus_fml 19

If the cops decide to go have a look...

5 0
PurplePigeon 0

I would hope so. what good are they if they don't come when needed?

8 0
hawtdawggy 0

im just wonderin how the fat guy broke in

0 5
VoodooGypsy 2

An object in motion will remain in motion until an external force acts upon it. Object being fat man, external force being door which in this case was unable to stop said fat man. That is my conclusion.

17 0
Draminicaus 0

You think the fat man pulled a Juggernaut? lol I'm wondering how a homeless man can be obese. Unless the money he begged for went to McDonald's instead of alcohol.

11 0
Draminicaus 0

You think the fat man pulled a Juggernaut? lol I'm wondering how a homeless man can be obese. Unless the money he begged for went to McDonald's instead of alcohol.

0 9
SadinSherman 16

Maybe he was fat before and is loosing the fat slowly.

1 0
marinus_fml 19

He ate the muesli bars with anesthetics, the ones you were keeping to give to your husband when he misbehaves? F the fatties life!

1 12
DrAwesome 6

"Ma'am, please tell your husband to get off of the ground and change himself. We need to continue this investigation."

65 1
iliketurdles 7

he was hungry, YDI for not having a burglary alarm.

0 19
angelkey2myheart 0

I highly doubt if you called the police they'd not go there for a break in. this has to be made up or you live in a bad place.

8 2
RedPillSucks 31

Probably instead of stopping at "A man broke into my house", which would have had the cops by her door in minutes, she kept going about some guy eating muesli bar, yada yada..... They probably put her on hold, while they all had a good laugh.

12 0
beccusmaximus 0

OP is pretty dumb for going into the house after seeing the door/window broken in. What if this asshole was still in her house, armed and waiting for her? That's probably why the cops didn't believe her. I think it's pretty common knowledge to not into your house if it's broken into, but to call the cops immediately.

1 12
marinus_fml 19

That sir, was sheer win! but I believe the WA police would have tazered! Been in trouble about recklessly tazering people up to 12 times lol!

0 0
xNephilim 18

Maybe the dude picked the door lock and closed it again? Or maybe he broke a window in the back, where the OP couldn't see it? There are tons of reasons for the OP to go into the house....

13 0