Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Cold shower

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 544

You deserved it 48 718

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Same thing different taste

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 45 067

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 247

You deserved it 36 267

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 235

You deserved it 3 610

Just… why?

By Ob3nie - 14/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 54 156

Hello Zoe

By Zoe123 - 19/03/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 267

You deserved it 16 654

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 818

You deserved it 6 576

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 417

You deserved it 23 274

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 480

You deserved it 6 198

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 221

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 003

You deserved it 8 945

mizled 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:27

You read your texts during sex? That's just bad manners...

Chaith 16

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:31

Hey, that's cool, your boyfriend frequents fmylife.com too! "Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"

Comments

mizled 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:27

You read your texts during sex? That's just bad manners...

Selsa_Squirrel 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 7:39

That's exactly what I was wondering. :P Why were they checking texts during 'that'?

allstarplayer324 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:28

Ouch....

meddude 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:29

all i've got to say is... hahahahahahahaha

gross__ 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:31

Why would you read a text during sex? Haha, it obviously wasn't too good then.

Chaith 16

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:31

Hey, that's cool, your boyfriend frequents fmylife.com too! "Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"

sexylol_fml 4

Sunday 20 November 2011 1:00

Really?!!? That must suck for you! and her!

johobus28 26

Monday 16 June 2014 10:22

#158, that's an actual FML that was published. She didn't make it up

Ghettogreen 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:32

"You're"

Slightmisshap 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:33

work on your "faking" skillz, and maybe it wont have to last as long if its bad.

meddude 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:34

#7: really? it was a quote lame ass

curious_missy 1

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:36

hehe...but if it's bad just come out straight and say it! I do that all the time!!! Even tho I know how to fake it very very well!

Cjw1220 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 5:55

Nice pussy...

Brendan3693 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 5:22

same to you, even if it is hidden

LLLP 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 4:17

Thank you for sharing

pgray18 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:40

hahahaha #7 ur a ****** genious

Kazze 31

Tuesday 31 March 2015 19:45

... Are you kidding me?

Keywords

Animals Cats Awkward Christmas Health Embarrassing Work Love Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Am I overreacting? Alcohol Drunk Transportation AITA Parents Gun control Kids Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Delivery Miscellaneous Food Family

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I agree, your life sucks 38 986

You deserved it 3 201

Today, I made my relationship with my boyfriend official. The guy who I liked, who'd ultimately friendzoned me, leaving me to find someone who would reciprocate my feelings, got irrationally angry at me. Didn’t he tell me just six months ago that we were “just friends”? Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 102

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 14 458

You deserved it 37 400

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I agree, your life sucks 2 670

You deserved it 168

Today, I finally found out why I never got invited to parties in college. My fellow students considered me too ambitious to want to do anything but study hard. The reason they thought that? I tended to be present and on time for classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 132

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 434

You deserved it 3 735

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I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 121

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 629

You deserved it 13 266

Same thing different taste

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