Coworkers, Relatable, Awkward and Work: Please love me

Please love me

By shite - 10/01/2014 21:46 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 286

You deserved it 5 782

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Same thing different taste

By That_guy - 12/02/2012 06:02 - United States

Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 548

You deserved it 2 124

Office Space

By Mishlette - 23/01/2015 13:27 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 890

You deserved it 2 752

By LesToiliettes - 25/03/2012 07:12 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 929

You deserved it 2 172

By Worstjob - 03/03/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 318

You deserved it 4 438

By DefinitelyNotDogshit - 28/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Levittown

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 721

You deserved it 3 679

Where am I?

By Morgan Jones - 18/06/2019 20:08

Today, I went to work at my new job, where I thought it would be super easy because I shop there all the time, and already know where everything is. Turns out, they're remodelling the store, so I don't know where anything is anymore, and the bosses get mad at me for being too slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 436

By Alex - 01/03/2019 16:00

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 650

Unforgettable

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 935

You deserved it 121

First day

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 07:59

Today, it was my first day working at my new job in a hospital with one day of training for a few hours a week ago. I wasn’t shown around and I was told I wouldn’t be alone today. I was. I got called useless because I’m the new girl who didn’t know where to tell people to go, or how to get there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 105

The sweet smell of success

By joshua - 06/08/2011 00:18 - United States

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 2 771

rockne93 17

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:11

Clog that toilet every single day and show them who's in control

auro7 18

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:10

I guess there's only a few options left, quit or man up and unclog the toilet.

Comments

Baucis 10

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:10

shouldn't of ate those tacos!

booze_n_bitches 37

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:12

*have eaten

Baucis 10

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:19

thanks spelig iz emportant

Paco_el_Taco 17

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:22

that wasn't just any taco, that was my cousin he ate!!!!

JustinKirby 20

Saturday 11 January 2014 4:21

She corrected yor grammar not spelling

NashyzzleTheN 10

Saturday 11 January 2014 4:51

Grammar are important so thanks four doing that

booze_n_bitches 37

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:10

Yey for first impressions!

fml8956 7

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:28

It will get better!

JMichael 25

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:31

Or could get shittier

dingleberrysteve 6

Saturday 11 January 2014 3:39

yeah probably that

Kamon97 23

Saturday 11 January 2014 4:42

Must've scared him shitless haha

Clay_Pidgeon 11

Saturday 11 January 2014 7:52

I guess you had a shitty d- *slap*. We have had enough of the those comments. Its. Done. Its. Over. Never say those words again.

CloudBustah 20

Saturday 11 January 2014 13:03

#63 what's ironic about your comment is that that particular comment about 'oh stop shitty situation jokes' will get down voted for being old too.

jsp16 24

Saturday 11 January 2014 13:22

I think OP replaced Jordan Belfort.

auro7 18

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:10

I guess there's only a few options left, quit or man up and unclog the toilet.

rockne93 17

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:11

Clog that toilet every single day and show them who's in control

TheCrispyCat 20

Saturday 11 January 2014 4:18

That would lead to his death, but he would die a man.

YourBatteryIsLow 8

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:12

How do you clog a toilet at a workplace? I mean those things suction the crap out of the toilet...literally!

buckeyed 20

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:15

Well, "workplace" could mean just about anywhere, with any kind of plumbing.

nopasanada 3

Saturday 11 January 2014 4:40

crappy toilet!!!!!

Holy_Schnikes 23

Saturday 11 January 2014 7:58

Some guys at my work will fill the toilet up with toilet paper and it clogs.

Kyuzomi 12

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:12

Unclog the toilet and gain trust with them. Maybe you can be the new man they all like! :D

buckeyed 20

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:13

Just letting them know you mean business.

perdix 29

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:15

For your career's sake, you should probably bring a personal litter box. You might survive if you have an office, but if you're in a cubicle, your neighbors will not tolerate the smell and the scratching.

Welshite 39

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:20

Solution: adult diapers. My coworkers never complain.

coried91 28

Saturday 11 January 2014 3:07

I just pictured a coworker walking by their desk while he is squatting in a little box taking a shit. I would love to see that on the news.

LowExpectations 30

Saturday 11 January 2014 13:17

Maybe OP should poop in his desk drawer so people don't notice. Also to disguise the poop he should grow some lovely vegetables with the new fertilizer. OP's fresh salads will win the hearts of his coworkers.

perdix 29

Saturday 11 January 2014 16:16

#70, and the E. coli will kill them off, so everyone who remembers the previous guy will die off. Brilliant!

Dthsapprntc 23

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:17

Bring in a cake for everyone. Cake fixes everything. Except the toilet, might want to get a plunger for that. Mmmmmmm, cake.

Axipiter 24

Saturday 11 January 2014 1:46

Unclog the toilet, and lace the cake with a laxative. Once someone else clogs the toilet, you two will have something in common, aside from both being hated by your coworkers! You'll become fast friends!