Get me out of this shithole
By nothing is sacred - 23/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Reynoldsburg
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
By nothing is sacred - 23/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Reynoldsburg
By WellPlayedMother - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
By Anonymous - 30/07/2016 17:45 - Mexico - Saltillo
By spaaaarta - 25/07/2016 20:17
By BlueBaronBitch - 24/06/2016 14:59 - United States - Dayton
Hey guys, OP here, really glad that this was my first FML to be published :) I guess I should fill in the plot holes here, yes the house was dark, she came through my porch door and through the dining room, which the creaking in the floor (as my dining room floor is known to be obnoxiously creaky) is what alerted me to think of an intruder. I was in my room on the second floor and there is a wall blocking my vision of the dining room once I get down, so when I got down I peeked the corner and just went at it at the human-ish form. Ended up fracturing one of her ribs, would have been worse if my boyfriend was home and he was the one doing the hitting. Family thinks I'm responsible because "I should have recognized it was my sister" but sorry if I hear someone breaking into my house I'm not going to sit down and have a nice chat and tea before deciding to do something. My family was in on it, and they're still trying to get me to pay, but I'm not budging on the fact that I was just trying to defend myself. Hope I explained it pretty well, thanks to everyone who helped get this published :)