blackmater12

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About Blackmater12

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Blackmater12's FML badges

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

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Perfectionist

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Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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One more and it's business time

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Blackmater12's favorite FMLs

By SApprentice - 04/12/2012 07:10 - United States - Harrisonburg

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 991

You deserved it 2 021

SApprentice tells us more.

SApprentice 34

Tuesday 4 December 2012 22:57

My co-worker is one of nicest people I know, he just kind of cringed and grunted, instantly beginning to tell me that it was okay. He knows I've been having trouble with that arm, so he doesn't hold it against me. I did give an apology several times though. The customers, on the other hand, were all fairly immature college kids. It was their laughter that really embarrassed me.

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 787

You deserved it 1 670

Delicious

By drchinky888 - 18/09/2016 17:10

Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Cat food is delicious I must admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 357

You deserved it 1 002

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 558

You deserved it 737

By r1has - 12/09/2016 08:21 - Pakistan - Rawalpindi

Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 599

You deserved it 1 199