By Attacksloth - 23/04/2015 22:45 - Canada - Sudbury

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
By Attacksloth - 23/04/2015 22:45 - Canada - Sudbury
By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 13:39 - United States - Columbus
By Anonymous - 11/12/2014 21:47 - United States - San Francisco
By void bowels() { cry(); } - 26/11/2014 20:45 - United Kingdom - Caerphilly
OP here. I was at a university, so like all schools, sex is fairly common here. I actually don't know if the contents were... legit sperm, but it seemed like they had the correct colour and, regrettably, consistency, judging by the shit left on my leg. It didn't look like pudding or mayonnaise or anything edible. Right now I'm just talking myself into a sense of security by telling myself that nobody in their right mind would actually be that disgusting. The second one missed me, because I saw them chucking it, so I ducked out of the way. Luckily I had extra pants from the gym so I just changed into those, and I refused to touch the condoms until a janitor came in with some heavy duty gloves. I don't think it was an act of revenge, because I haven't really talked to people much this year - I'm either with my wife, exercising alone, or researching alone. The boy who threw them was with a girl and they were both laughing. I memorized their faces, so if I see them on campus, they can receive some "polite Canadian justice".