keakatchu

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Keakatchu's favorite FMLs

By EpicFail - 04/02/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 774

You deserved it 16 006

By nopissleft - 20/12/2013 21:05 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 023

You deserved it 2 925

By sammers27 - 19/12/2013 13:48 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 170

You deserved it 4 847

By Cat Piss - 15/12/2013 16:58 - United States - Lavon

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 679

You deserved it 6 883

By clodius - 20/11/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - Airdrie

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 222

You deserved it 23 287

clodius_fml tells us more.

clodius_fml 6

Thursday 21 November 2013 17:52

Hi, OP here. I genuinely didn't think this would be published but here we go. Yes on that night I was extremely drunk and she was drinking heavily too, and I mean heavily. I didn't notice the huge bump because 1) I was shitfaced 2) She hid it extremely well. Anyway after talking to a few people it seems that this woman has been going around for the past 7 months sleeping with people and saying they are the dad. I have nothing wrong with people having sex when they aren't in a relationship but don't try and pin point your baby's dad on some bloke. It is wrong on so many levels.