Stephen_fml

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One more and it's business time

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Stephen_fml's favorite FMLs

Shit, dude

By Johnny on the Spot - 12/02/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 409

You deserved it 2 317

Thanks, I guess…

By unsatisfied - 09/03/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 375

You deserved it 4 433

By lovewedge - 09/03/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 070

You deserved it 23 553

By serverdessert - 08/03/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 563

You deserved it 19 292

By squirty_joe - 08/03/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 293

You deserved it 20 551