Excuses
By NotAnExcuse - 07/11/2012 05:58 - United States
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
By NotAnExcuse - 07/11/2012 05:58 - United States
By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Lawndale
By AnnieThrax - 18/09/2012 04:35 - United States - Holdingford
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.