Money

Bullshit merchants in the temple

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 00:30 - United States - Decatur

Today, I found out my mom has literally spent all her savings sending money to some bullshit-peddling megachurch televangelist, who apparently told her that giving them money would ensure her future fortune. Tithings, my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 105

Stick to the script

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 11:00

Today, to save money on our vacation, we got a single room with double beds. What a mistake that was. Thanks to our dad's OCD need to stick to his schedule, he got us up at 6 every morning, we had to be in bed by 9:30PM and absolutely no relaxing by the pool, because “we got things to do.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 143

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2023 00:02

Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 295

Tax evasion

By Single4Life - 22/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and file our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 142

It's the thought that counts

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 00:00

Today, I drove two hours to secretly buy an antique book my wife has been looking for for 30 years since her childhood copy was lost in a house fire. There was one other guy there interested in buying it, we were both cash buyers but with one difference: I was the one who forgot his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 352

By lel - 06/11/2018 13:30

Today, I got a blue screen of death on my brand new computer. Why? My parents installed an "anti-virus" before I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 026

You deserved it 250

Wrecked

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 22:00 - Albania

Today, I crashed my brother's car. All my friends know about this and not a single person has ask if I'm OK, even my dad and brother don't seem to be worried about me. Only my mother and I are sad because I don't know how to pay for a new car, the old one is in pieces. Thank god I'm alive but maybe dead would've been better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 392

Bitch better have my money

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 06:00

Today, after I started living with siblings to save money during pandemic, one of them has struggled to pay rent and after 2 years now owes me $10,000, which I will likely never see. I told him this is an unfair living situation, and will not be extending the lease. Now he's acting like a victim and treating me like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 189

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, my bank, being overly paranoid about fraud, declined my Christmas purchase on Amazon because I usually don't spend that much all at once. Instead of Amazon simply asking to try the card again, they instead switched to a different card in the wallet. Which would be fine, except it's a shared family account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 05:18 - United States

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 435

You deserved it 3 215

By MR - 10/03/2010 18:37 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 9 131

By Adios Career - 26/11/2015 16:27 - United States

Today, a great job I have been wanting to apply for opened for applications. Turns out it requires a clean background with no credit issues. I recently got a notice saying my wife and I are being sued over an unpaid $140 medical bill that she neglected to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 141

You deserved it 2 161

Pump and dump

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 16:00

Today, my husband had to admit that he lost 5000$ on a cryptocurrency scam that some asshole Twitch streamer convinced him to invest in via Twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 172

The buck stops here

By Anonymous - 07/01/2024 23:00

Today, my boss showed me how he wants his office redecorating. We have employees on minimum wage and yet he wants a private bathroom, large screen TV, sofa and PlayStation, and a decorative suit of armour, all in an office that’s already bigger than my one bedroom flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 103

By nocostumeforme - 29/10/2011 16:01 - Canada

Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 022

You deserved it 6 989

By bug20 - 18/07/2016 09:27 - United States - Wooster

Today, I received an almost $400 bill for Internet services I don't even have. When I called and talk to them they told me I still owe them $77 because I didn't catch it within 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 271

You deserved it 1 005

Heavy sleeper

By tootles - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my parents' house, so I ended up sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I was then awoken by a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 642

You deserved it 6 381

They'll be back

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, it's been about 4 months since my partner and I spent all our savings to open a board game shop. We found that most people were interested in D&D, and so we stupidly decided to put most of our eggs in one basket, and send about 75% of our other stock back. Guess what everyone decided to boycott last week? FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 361

Healthcare in the US is so ******

By angry! - 23/07/2023 13:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I find it to be absolute horseshit that I’ve been denied disability benefits even though I’ve been in and out (mostly in) treatment for cancer over the past four years. Meanwhile my 600 lbs+ neighbor has been draining the system for decades. I can’t even find a pro bono attorney to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 134

Fun times

By KeepinItInTheFamily - 28/10/2018 05:00

Today, my future sister-in-law told me that not only will I have to host her bachelorette party at my new, still under construction house, but she has also booked a sex consultant to come and give a toy presentation. There's a $350 minimum spend. Only 5 people are coming, 4 of which are family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 277

You deserved it 355

Evasive

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 289

You deserved it 2 238

By Heinz - 08/08/2012 04:19 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 2 831

By Anonymous - 06/06/2019 20:01

Today, I found out that the airhead sitting next to me at work who can't get anything done on her own, makes more money than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 164

Trash

By Attack of the drunk caveman - 14/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm a hotel housekeeper. I was warned by the manager that one of the rooms was "horrible." When I got to said room, I understood: what he meant; it looked as though it was raided by a drunken caveman. It took my friend and I almost an hour to clean it up completely. At least the "caveman" left a $2.00 tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 119

Not worth it

By Anonymous - 03/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Portland

Today, out of the kindness of my heart, and so he wouldn't have to spend any money, I gave my ex-boyfriend my login information to my Vudu account. Big mistake. He logged me out of all devices, changed the password, and won't give me the new login information until I give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 777

Hungry boi

By jesstracy - 04/10/2017 09:00 - United States - Naperville

Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 922

You deserved it 1 226

Free healthcare when?

By tooth fairy - 20/08/2018 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, my dentist called and told me that the surgery to remove my wisdom teeth - which I desperately need and saved for a year to be able to afford - will actually cost nearly $2000 more than originally stated. The surgery is supposed to be in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 583

You deserved it 135

By Noname - 13/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 909

You deserved it 4 411

This is fine

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 01:00 - United States - Cerritos

Today, I got another parking ticket because I can't afford a parking pass for the school I attend. I now have over $700 in unpaid parking tickets. I have classes all day from Monday-Thursday. I work Friday-Sunday. They recently cut hours at work. Some days I can't afford to feed myself. My mom said, "Figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 485

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The Top

Today, my dog-obsessed wife complained that we never have sex anymore. Call me crazy but constantly hearing her say how dogs are better than husbands, sleeping with three huge dogs in bed every night, and watching her shove her tongue in the dogs’ mouths doesn’t exactly whip me into a sexual frenzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 644

You deserved it 265

Today, my doctor put me on a new medication that came with the warning to stay out of the sun. I live in the desert and my country is having the highest temperatures recorded ever in human history. Guess I should stock up on white, long sleeve shirts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, there was a homeless guy asleep on a bench. I had to step around some kids and my bag hit the homeless guy. Now I can only assume he was a homeless veteran, because the speed with which he woke up, screamed “enemy contact”, and practically broke my knee, tells me he had years of training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 129

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 2 154

Today, I noticed that the condom in my wallet has been there so long it's left a mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 14 028

Today, I realized that I hadn't heard anything about my upcoming class reunion. Turns out it was an invite via Facebook that I didn't receive because most of my classmates are on my block list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 320

You deserved it 7 857

Today, I was told I have a brother… By a stranger in a parking lot, while leaving my grandfather's wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 132

Today, I got a call from a 24/7 psychiatric triage centre. Apparently, writing to the PM about assisted suicide puts you on their 'at risk' list. Is it not reasonable to ask if Australia is going to follow Canada's lead in complex mental health as a qualification for assisted suicide? I'm getting another call tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 187