Work

Let me elaborate. It was yesterday when this happened and I submitted the FML, just to cheer myself up. I am a recent graduate and it was at a job fair, not a scheduled interview but to my surprise one of the recruiters started interviewing me right away. I was unprepared and got flustered and started saying that. But the good news is that they indeed seemed to like me enough to email me for a real interview next week! All prayers appreciated! Thank you all for your wonderful comments.

By notamonkey - 14/12/2016 17:24

Today, I realised that a monkey can do my job. I was fired as an entertainer at the local fairground and literally replaced by a chimpanzee. He wears a hat and can hold balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 130

You deserved it 738

notamonkey tells us more.

notamonkey 0

Monday 19 December 2016 12:37

OP here, I didn't expect this to get posted so I made an account :) Your comments genuinely made me laugh! Since this got posted, here's some background for you: this happened to me two years ago, after I had worked for them for over a decade. While it wasn't the greatest job in the world, it felt like a calling to me. There's nothing I love more than making people (especially children) laugh. I later found out that they fired me because my boss wanted to impress his new girlfriend by giving her niece (who happens to be a chimp handler/animal trainer) a job. It was a small company and they couldn't afford to keep the both of us on, so I had to go :( But it's all good, I got lucky and found myself a similar job with better pay and benefits. :)

Come on, man

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 22:00

Today, I realized my boyfriend is more tough to deal with than any customer at my call center job, because all I do when I talk to him is use de-escalation and sympathization techniques used when customers are upset or angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 202

Rock n roll!

By christous - 22/11/2008 04:42 - France

Today, I was supposed to perform my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage, my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by, and now I'm on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 581

You deserved it 5 024

America, hell yeah brother

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 23:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 335

You deserved it 8 347

Morning boost

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 14:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my Stanley mug of coffee. Halfway to work, I took a big swig only to realize I had grabbed my son’s thermos of chicken noodle soup, which I then spat out. My car now smells like a deli, and I'm still uncaffeinated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 579

By power corrupts... - 07/08/2011 20:29 - Czech Republic

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 080

You deserved it 12 060

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 03/06/2023 16:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my family that I'm on probation at work. I help my family out financially, working in a field that they pressured me to pursue. Because they are aggressive, they asked if it was because I fought with someone at work. I told them it was because my boss says I'm too soft. Their response? "He's right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 185

Thanks for your help

By cootiequeen - 01/06/2014 04:13 - United States

Today, at work, a lady approached me asking if I'd found a used cloth diaper on a table, and I told her it was probably in the trash. She said "That's okay, I can wash it." So I searched through several bags of trash, and when I couldn't find it, she said "Oh never mind! It's in my bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 588

You deserved it 4 609

Wish you were here

By Pooped - 12/05/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my coworker faked having COVID so she could go on vacation. I guess she forgot that we follow each other on Instagram. I saw all her pictures of her drinking and at the beach enjoying herself. I’ve been doing the bulk of her work and staying overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 123

Nice guy

By LucklessNiceGuy - 05/12/2011 07:22 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 668

You deserved it 45 321

By miewann - 03/03/2015 19:06 - United States - Mount Holly

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 223

You deserved it 2 573

Stalker vibes

By olalala2382 - 02/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed, "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 143

You deserved it 7 250

Internet doctor

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 02:00 - Switzerland

Today, a patient in the emergency department insisted on needing a treatment, and got mad at me when I told him it was nonsense. His "proof" was a Tik Tok-video he once saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 114

Make it stop

By whatzthehell - 03/06/2009 10:31 - Kuwait

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 648

You deserved it 51 470

By Anonymous - 30/06/2014 01:25 - United States - Butler

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 041

You deserved it 12 024

What a ride

By Play It All Night Long by Warren Zevon - 18/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 242

Get back here!

By matte - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 038

You deserved it 4 990

By leonieNL - 12/08/2010 14:50 - Netherlands

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 599

You deserved it 3 837

By Anonymous - 25/04/2016 16:03 - United States - New York

Today, I finally got to meet the new Director of my department. She was my intern eight years ago, the one I declined to recommend for a full time position due to interpersonal conflicts. She knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 051

You deserved it 5 583

Bad day, huh?

By evenpoorer - 16/03/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8-hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I'm now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 029

You deserved it 3 580

By abrooks88 - 08/02/2012 16:53 - United States

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 986

You deserved it 2 062

Sorry sweaty

By Jennie - 11/05/2023 15:00

Today, I was late for a job interview so I got a taxi to get there. Then the driver got lost and ended up taking me to the wrong address. By the time I got to the right location, I was 20 minutes late and had sweat stains on my shirt. To make matters worse, the interviewer was my ex who I had a messy breakup with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 199

By UH60 - 15/11/2014 22:58 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 585

You deserved it 6 535

UH60 tells us more.

UH60 26

Sunday 16 November 2014 9:31

Yep, didn't cramp and so dropped two minutes off my run.

Time is money

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 18:00

Today, I had a job interview that I had spent hours preparing for it. When I arrived, the interviewer told me the position had been filled already and they forgot to notify me. I wasted a whole fucking day for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 87

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 97

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 5 679

Today, I decided that after three days, I had to cut short my hiatus from social media. I saw a correlation between that and my anxiety going through the roof, causing my work performance to suffer. I’m so addicted to social media that in my off time, I think I was having withdrawal symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 1 345

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 491

You deserved it 1 278

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 394

You deserved it 5 701

Today, my boyfriend made a mess eating spaghetti. Yes, he is older than 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 200