Sex, Boredom and Love: Boredom - FML

Boredom

By alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 772

You deserved it 52 048

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Same thing different taste

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 950

You deserved it 4 228

By ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 889

You deserved it 1 151

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 741

You deserved it 2 882

By thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 445

You deserved it 3 175

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 409

You deserved it 31 974

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 731

You deserved it 3 615

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 800

You deserved it 13 025

By SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 780

You deserved it 5 667

By UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 430

You deserved it 3 378

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 23 457

Next

Top comments

csigabajnok 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:24

Why didn't you start texting too? Maybe you should have sent her a message to pay damn attention or something.

ohgeez 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:31

Hrmm....I'm not saying I'm amazing at it, but from what I can tell, texting is the last thing on the girls mind.... I'd actually be impressed if she could type complete sentences.

Comments

CaliforniaGirl_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 6:39

Dang dude, FYL dang

farock 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 22:25

do the same thing she did, while she's sucking you off

jussjess 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 17:54

If she's texting while he's going down on her, I doubt she'll be "sucking him off" anytime soon.

bubbles944770 0

Friday 29 April 2011 16:43

lol

Idyedmyhairblack 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 19:19

aw,sorry man!

jmorgz18 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 22:16

yeaaa i sent this1 to my gf because she is constantly on her phone and she replied....fuckk youuu

Goat_Miner 7

Monday 16 May 2016 19:00

Autism speaks

Ktea 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 9:57

I'm doing that next time.

d_dh2310 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 10:07

listen, as a girl, sometimes i don't like getting head.. actually, i've only enjoyed it once.. when it was done "well", but i'm not so sure what well was :-P you'll figure it out, or ask her (cause if she was texting it was not good for her). either way, she shouldn't have been texting, such a lack of respect, i would have rather told you to stop than have picked up my phone and let you keep going!!

supwithitk 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 6:49

That's horrible.

alwaysme_fml 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 22:05

omg

CanadAssassiN 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 0:17

Hey, you never know, she might have been bragging to someone about how good you were in bed or something...lol

ilawlzatyou 0

Monday 23 February 2009 2:17

Lmfaoooooo, wow. I wouldn't even have finished her.

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The Top

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 273

Today, I was on FaceTime with my sister. She remarked that my living room was a mess, and that she didn’t know how I kept a man with a place like that. I retorted, “He’s not with me for how well I can clean, when I can polish his knob like a marble floor!” I had no idea my dad was off camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 1 688

The Top

Today, I found out that if your boss unfriends you on Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 883

You deserved it 4 408

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 113

You deserved it 50 229

Today, my daughters announced they had big news. They had a whole presentation saying they wanted our entire family to go vegan. When I told them, as gently as I could, that that was never happening, they burst into tears, screaming, "The planet is burning! Meat is killing us all!" They're 11 and 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 417

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 272

You deserved it 4 248

Today, the guy I was hooking up with said he wasn’t “looking for anything serious.” That’s not what he told me when I agreed to the hookups with a promise of becoming something more. When I mentioned this to him, he said, “Well, that was before I knew what you looked like naked.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 535

Today, I found out why my husband is suddenly uninterested in sex. Apparently one of the secretaries at work has finally turned 18, and it's pretty much an open secret among his coworkers that they fuck anywhere from 2 to 5 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 214

You deserved it 518