Suspicious and Love: Explain yourself

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 203

You deserved it 4 580

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Same thing different taste

This is fine

By Changing the locks tomorrow - 08/03/2023 06:00

Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 115

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 050

You deserved it 3 081

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 872

You deserved it 11 717

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 012

You deserved it 12 785

By thelunarwolf - 02/03/2011 03:41

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 854

You deserved it 8 873

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 564

You deserved it 67 633

By Renée - 25/08/2018 03:30

Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 115

You deserved it 227

By furious at five in the morning - 02/07/2012 12:36 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 379

You deserved it 4 111

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 381

You deserved it 4 325

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 612

You deserved it 2 883

afdude87 6

Sunday 30 January 2011 12:30

hmm people make typos?

three3_fml 2

Sunday 30 January 2011 12:31

Your wife is getting ******,

Comments

Robertz18 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 16:53

**** that

TenderWhispers 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 16:53

OJ Simpson example

Trace01m 11

Sunday 30 January 2011 17:00

Wow, you married my exwife!

yeppers6502 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 17:01

she was probably trying to cover up the fact that she was cheating, so she pretended it was a girl. what probably happened after that was her subconscious didn't remember she was faking and accidentally wrote the true gender.

jmejoy 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 17:11

i like the wording, makes it funny ^^

Yeah_Thats_Me 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 17:35

Sirin I was reading your profile and it said you tried to submit two FMLs. :O

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Sunday 30 January 2011 17:37

Why is a woman having a male friend so unfathimable? I guess the fact that she hadn't told you earlier that it was a lad was the part that got you uneasy? Or was it just the fact that she's hanging out with a man and she should only have female friends?

momo1972 3

Sunday 30 January 2011 17:39

auto correct can be a bitch huh

flighted 1

Sunday 30 January 2011 17:41

what I thought was- she purposely said her friend is drunk so she has to take "her" home to make an excuse to be out late and since she was probably drunk herself, she forgot to put "her" house as well. because she probably wouldn't have typed "his" had she not been thinking of a guy, words don't pop into your head for no reason.