Embarrassing, Awkward and Health: Get me out of here

Get me out of here

By seekerglow176 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Natick

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about buttfucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 585

You deserved it 5 327

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
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Same thing different taste

Night time entertainment

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 276

You deserved it 423

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 507

You deserved it 359

The cycle begins

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 123

You deserved it 4 988

By Anonymous - 29/01/2016 19:12 - United States - Watonga

Today, I was feeling terrible and posted on Facebook about how I was stressed out and feeling really lonely. My sister replied saying "#fatfuckproblems". 13 people liked it and some so-called friends posted stuff like "rekt" and "SLAYED, bitch!", all in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 486

You deserved it 4 606

Hungover

By RedheadA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 635

You deserved it 3 688

Out of my mind

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 5 115

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 815

You deserved it 72 130

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 549

You deserved it 4 255

Self report

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 695

You deserved it 8 757

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 311

grayeyedmarine 14

Saturday 27 April 2013 19:32

what what in the butt

lilhellian 26

Saturday 27 April 2013 19:32

Butt **** here, butt **** there, butt **** everywhere!

Comments

Cheeley 17

Saturday 27 April 2013 19:41

Looks like Nicki Minaj finally has some competition.

Flegmatik 16

Saturday 27 April 2013 19:49

Record it and post it on youtube

olpally 32

Saturday 27 April 2013 19:57

Reminds me of a family guy episode... Peter starts singing about "cowboy gay/butt sex and sodomy." Lol. YouTube it for a laugh folks :)

EVnIAS 13

Sunday 28 April 2013 2:25

A long time ago there were two cowboys alone on a trail!

J15237 25

Wednesday 17 March 2021 23:56

I immedietly thought of Family Guy also. Only about that episode where he was trying to sell Butt Sratchers.

grayeyedmarine 14

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:07

whys it got to be a creepy male nurse... I've met far more creepy female nurses

Epikouros 31

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:13

Don't worry, butt sex won't hurt if her sphincter's relaxed.

firefighter925 18

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:57

Hey bro take the few next rounds out, grab you a soda or somethin.

firefighter925 18

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:04

next few rounds*

Adhdkid107 9

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:33

How....old is your sister...?

stevothedevo 25

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:51

Old enough to party

Adhdkid107 9

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:07

Yeah but that's like 10 year olds now a days

therealafroninga 10

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:11

Old enough to bleed, old enough for me.

Grand_Cookie 21

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:38

Hahaha!!

firefighter925 18

Saturday 27 April 2013 20:55

Well don't be a party pooper join in!

firefighter925 18

Saturday 27 April 2013 21:01

#24 You ain't kidding about that! there are some weird girl nurses. but normally they turn out to be a lady of the street but a freak in the bed. haha