Miscellaneous: Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk...

By philip708 - 27/08/2015 06:46 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 711

You deserved it 1 820

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 6 048

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 484

You deserved it 6 178

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 134

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 978

You deserved it 3 769

Great seeing you again

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 581

You deserved it 3 905

By blinkme - 28/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 696

You deserved it 13 803

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 13/10/2022 12:00

Today, I watched an old man pee himself while he was talking to me at work. I didn't do anything or say something, solely because he didn't get any on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 118

Pish yerself

By breyn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 036

You deserved it 2 515

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 346

You deserved it 2 256

justanonymous123 13

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:08

No good deed goes unpunished.

stryder9090 28

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:10

A golden hug from a golden aged individual. Your day can't get any brighter!

Comments

Misfitsfitin 23

Friday 28 August 2015 2:16

Something about this story doesn't smell right

izzytakamono 9

Friday 28 August 2015 21:23

I think I'd have murdered that friend. It's not like he could have run anywhere.

sapittman 1

Friday 28 August 2015 21:33

No good deed goes unpunished!

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 3

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

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Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 7 037

Today, I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to interview someone I’ve greatly admired for years and grew up watching. I was naturally nervous, but I didn’t expect to be so nervous I would throw up on him in the first 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 140

You deserved it 473

Today, my sister got fired and I got promoted to her job, got a nice payrise for it. My relationship with my sister will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 675

You deserved it 335

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 278

You deserved it 4 485

Today, a woman messaged me on a dating app to tell me that I was ugly, and that I shouldn't be allowed on the site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 277

You deserved it 464

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 131

You deserved it 2 880