Kids: Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what...

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 194

You deserved it 76 832

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 024

You deserved it 3 781

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 334

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 839

You deserved it 4 779

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 548

You deserved it 4 690

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 06:28 - United States - Calhan

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 563

You deserved it 3 446

By Username - 29/07/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 7 347

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 194

You deserved it 18 840

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 470

You deserved it 3 963

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 430

You deserved it 28 100

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 734

You deserved it 7 130

theauthor 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 12:05

LOL i had a similar experience when my 3 1/2 yr old cousin told me sadly that "tomas the tank engine is shit"

Cogeno 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 12:51

I remember my 9 year old nephew recently got suspended for telling the teacher to 'Go suck her husband' after she was giving him shit.

Comments

Carlynator09 0

Friday 27 March 2009 3:42

this one made me laugh, I hope you didnt get in too much trouble with your parents though i remember i got in trouble when my little cousins asked me what all the cuss words meant and i told them lol, i thought they had a right to know.

annis_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 6:42

Yeah you might not know it but little kids can pick up on everything. My friend's two year old boy has started swearing...

ub6ib9 0

Friday 27 March 2009 15:05

yeah omg, my little brother just turned 3, and i ALWAYS get pissed off at my mom, so one day i was sitting in my room after a long fight with my mom, and my brother comes into my room and hes like, why are you upset? and im like "**** mama shes a bitch :( you'll understand when you're older, and im already moved out" then the next day my mom yells at him for throwing food. and he says " NO **** YOU MAMA!I HATE YOU! " hahaha thank god my momis european, and used to swearing or i woulda been in shit.. XD

sneakersneaker 0

Friday 27 March 2009 19:23

Kids say the darndest things! hahaha, you have to watch it around them, they're like sponges... always remember everything they hear

doomfromheaven 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:27

Dude, your little bro... Is freakin' awesome.

black_panda 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:40

Dude, your little bro... Is freakin' awesome. [2]

Scootles7 0

Friday 27 March 2009 22:44

HAHAHAHA that's amazing

theoldGP 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 0:53

#1 hahah thats great honestly though you do have to be careful. they always want to talk and act like the "big kids" he really does look up to you and your friends.