Kids: Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing...

By brichard22 - 12/07/2015 14:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 829

You deserved it 5 814

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/09/2010 14:56 - United States

Today, my 8 year old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 904

You deserved it 4 625

By Herdad - 30/07/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 042

You deserved it 3 693

What about king-size chocolate bars?

By marie - 14/08/2022 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I took away my daughter’s candy bar, saying, “Princesses never eat sweets.” She spent the next few hours crying, because she “didn’t want to be a princess anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 2 339

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 380

By Anya - 17/12/2016 16:09 - Japan - Fukuoka

Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 681

You deserved it 1 825

Irony failure

By alcoholic - 31/10/2009 14:30 - Estonia

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 823

You deserved it 51 683

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 687

You deserved it 3 150

By The_Black_Jesus - 31/03/2013 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 369

You deserved it 5 242

Teenagers these days

By prostitott - 04/05/2013 07:22

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 508

You deserved it 15 381

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 04:44 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 460

You deserved it 7 174

DerrickJames 33

Monday 13 July 2015 9:36

Children are model learners. Be a better model or keep them around better models.

wheresmymary 22

Monday 13 July 2015 9:36

They grow up so fast

Comments

MJS103 15

Monday 13 July 2015 9:38

It's a hard nock life.

WarMachine68 24

Monday 13 July 2015 9:39

yikes... maybe try to explain why that's not such a good thing..? I don't know what I'd do in your shoes, op...

alanamarieg 18

Monday 13 July 2015 9:40

I honestly hope shes joking. Good luck with her, OP.

Cads1 24

Monday 13 July 2015 9:43

Did you crack a cold one for her?

whycantisignup 24

Monday 13 July 2015 9:46

Murica!

kittykat1501 31

Monday 13 July 2015 9:52

Honestly, lots of good comments are getting down voted! Why? Half of the negative votes on here are on the best comments!

worldclassrager 39

Monday 13 July 2015 9:55

If her toy was a ball what's the issue?

WOTAN1488 24

Monday 13 July 2015 10:01

Well who did she learn it from? Grandma?

Pingvinai 37

Monday 13 July 2015 10:08

As long as it's not Bud Light.

freddy562 8

Monday 13 July 2015 10:11

this is how lesbians are created

MalekiMaker99 22

Monday 13 July 2015 11:03

Stay classy

ford_chick_22 12

Monday 13 July 2015 17:59

That's because there is no logic.

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Today, I realized that I'm jealous of my newly-divorced roommate. She has so much freedom now because her daughter lives 50/50 with her ex. I'm trying so hard keeping my household, relationship, work, and kids happy, and I'm tired and overwhelmed all of the time, while she goes on vacation with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 370

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend, and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 742

You deserved it 61 322

The Top

Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 059

You deserved it 1 737

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 758

You deserved it 6 348

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 156

You deserved it 3 678

Today, I found out via Whatsapp status about a girl's outing of a group I'm in. I wasn't invited. I'm 35 and it's high school all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 123

Today, I was texted out of the blue by a girl I treated to dinner last year. Since then, we'd chatted and met in passing a few times, but she'd turned down or cancelled all my other date invitations. Sadly, she wasn't trying to meet up. She wanted $500 to benefit a male friend, who was down on his luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 120

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 764

You deserved it 3 822

Same thing different taste

What about king-size chocolate bars?

Irony failure

Teenagers these days

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