Today, is the third day in a row I have woken up from a dream...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By grabbed-me-by-the-p**sy - 13/10/2017 20:15

Today, is the third day in a row I have woken up from a dream where I was being groped by the president. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 7

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

interesting33 36

Tuesday 17 October 2017 13:21

that is awful. I would be having serious talks with your husband and counselling for your son. that sounds extremely destructive

interesting33 36

Tuesday 17 October 2017 13:22

wrong FML sorry

Comments

interesting33 36

Tuesday 17 October 2017 13:21

that is awful. I would be having serious talks with your husband and counselling for your son. that sounds extremely destructive

interesting33 36

Tuesday 17 October 2017 13:22

wrong FML sorry

Leeono 26

Tuesday 17 October 2017 15:33

Fyl right?

Jack_the_magnificent 10

Wednesday 18 October 2017 0:52

today in stuff that never happened land

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Awkward Dentist Health Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Work Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Family Vacation Annoying AITA Am I overreacting? Parents Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Food Ironic Money

The Top

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 738

You deserved it 4 239

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 30 148

The Top

Today, I came home to find my husband allowed several of his family members to move in without even asking me. His parents are in the spare room, his brother and wife are in my den and they expect me to make my daughter share her bed with two older cousins. I’m ready to take the kids and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 713

You deserved it 166

Today, I got my beautiful daughter ready to be a flower girl for the first time. A flower girl in the wedding of her father, my ex-husband, and the woman he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 595

You deserved it 4 126

Today, I broke my mother's Tiffany lamp from the 1920's. Practically crying, I raced onto the computer to try to find one to order before she comes back in three weeks. The lamp is worth over twelve thousand dollars, and the only way I'm getting one is if I lived 90 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 073

You deserved it 25 887

Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 725

You deserved it 48 535

Today, it's -5°C outside and snowing and it's only September. If that wasn’t bad enough, we aren't allowed to have the heat on at work due to a menopausal monster who loses her shit and throws things if we turn it on. I can't feel my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 263

You deserved it 237

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 688

You deserved it 6 822