Health: Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally...

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 813

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Same thing different taste

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 4 681

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 119

You deserved it 2 527

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 228

You deserved it 3 049

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 141

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 172

By HeIsKindaRightTho - 16/09/2014 04:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 326

You deserved it 4 927

By yeah why not - 06/04/2013 17:06 - Norway

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 842

You deserved it 2 997

By FML - 04/09/2015 16:27 - United States - Maricopa

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 694

You deserved it 1 725

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 2 384

ImKindaABigDeal 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:06

shoulda said "no I got moms abnormally large one"

cheerchika 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 9:04

hahaha. say " no and thank god" ;)

Comments

chrstygrl06 10

Sunday 6 March 2011 11:39

Your dad is a big dick!

annihil8or 15

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:35

Nice cookie monster pick

Todayi 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 11:53

LMAO when I looked at this it had 69 YDIs

Angelice_fml 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 11:57

It's not short, it's fun-sized. (:

HeartbrokenLoner 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 12:17

If anything, I'd be sorry for your mother :P

Phololololo 8

Sunday 6 March 2011 12:33

ma.

armedandangerous 3

Sunday 6 March 2011 12:58

Never 2 late, give it a shot Op.

armedandangerous 3

Sunday 6 March 2011 13:00

Oh dam sorry i just commented on the wrong fml.

armedandangerous 3

Sunday 6 March 2011 13:01

Oh dam sorry i just commented on the wrong fml.

armedandangerous 3

Sunday 6 March 2011 13:07

Oh dam sorry i just comment the wrong fml.

justin1104lee 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 13:18

u r gonna get attacked by bieber fans

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I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 103

Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML

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You deserved it 5 158

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I agree, your life sucks 34 074

You deserved it 3 540

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I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 297

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to take him 30 minutes away to meet his friends so he could go fishing, adding that they wouldn't be gone all night. I dropped him off 13 hours ago, and he doesn't have a phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 238

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I agree, your life sucks 2 960

You deserved it 255

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I agree, your life sucks 34 903

You deserved it 4 188

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 109

You deserved it 14 103

Same thing different taste

He's still got it

News to me

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