Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers

Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter.

Let it be

By Anonymous - 09/02/2024 16:00 - United States - Wesley Chapel

Today, it seems that I can't enjoy one fucking weekend without my mom finding work for me to do to take up my time, and I'm sick of it! FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 269

Good grief

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 00:02

Today, my mom wished her best friend a Happy Birthday on Facebook. Her best friend died this year. Oh, did I mention that it’s also my birthday? FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 106

Late announcement

By 307 - 19/05/2023 03:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, it’s Mother’s Day. My mother-in-law, who is batshit crazy, bought her daughter a pinwheel. My MIL claims she “saw it and knew it was for her.” Her daughter is 47. This might be laughable, but over the years, her daughter is slowly turning into her. I’m effed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 152

Not worth our time

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 16:00

Today, my grandparents told me they couldn't make it to my college graduation, even with months in advance to plan, because they had their annual Mother's Day plans with friends. Plans they've had every year, and are further away. This was the only time I'll ever have a graduation ceremony. My grandpa is my last biological grandparent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 138

Take your pencil and shove it

By Anonymous - 21/07/2022 18:00

Today, I realised I will never be as important to my mom as her career. I asked if we could spend the day together on my birthday and she offered to “pencil me in” on one of her slower days in September. My birthday is in August, but apparently that’s inconvenient for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 121

Help, I need somebody!

By Almost40 - 26/06/2022 16:00

Today, it's my birthday, and like every other Sunday, my wife's been called into work, and I'm left with our three toddlers and yesterday's mess to clean up. It's raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 252

No thanks

By i know this is late but… - 16/06/2022 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, it was Mother’s Day. My mom died when I was young, so I deleted all of my social media, to avoiding seeing all my friends hanging out with their aging, but healthy, loving mothers. Then my dad decided to remind me what day it was and to wish my abusive stepmom a happy Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 129

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 19/05/2022 02:00

Today, on the first occasion I've seen my boss since her brief leave, I brought up how I got to hear all our customers' heartwarming plans for their moms on Mother's Day. Her mother just died. That's why she was on leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 265

Thanks for the memories

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 04:00

Today, I knew my mom wanted to go out to dinner with me and my sisters, and I couldn't remember why, so I called her and said, "Why are we going out to dinner?" and she goes, "Well, we always have." I forgot today's the anniversary of my stepdad dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 554

Partyblocked

By story of my life - 07/03/2022 02:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 99

Unhappy Birthday

By Masiro - 13/07/2021 13:00 - United States - Pendleton

Today, I traveled 3 hours to a town I hate, to spend my birthday with my mom and brother and his family. My mom didn't realize it was my birthday until the cake slice with candles was placed in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 74

Gamers gonna game

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 02:01 - United States - Escanaba

Today, I had to delay the Father's Day dinner that I had to cook, so it wouldn't conflict with my wife and kids' gaming schedules. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 122

Alanis Morissette reference

By mei-ah - 12/06/2021 00:01

Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 88

Happy Mother's Day

By ImScrewed - 10/05/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, I had my husband’s family over. Our adopted 4 year-old daughter drew a cute card and gave it to me saying, "Happy Mother’s Day mommy! I love you." My mother-in-law scoffed, "She’s infertile and not even your real mom, but ok." Now our daughter won’t stop asking all sorts of questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 84

Medicare For All

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 08:01

Today, it's Mother’s Day. It's also the day I’m expected to pay a very large medical bill due to my miscarriage of twin babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 96

At last

By Anonymous - 04/02/2021 20:01

Today, on the third of February, my mom finally relented and let us take the Christmas decorations down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 111

Life is a roller coaster

By Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 171

Mom knows best

By Troy - 10/09/2019 22:00

Today, my mom offered me a reward if I went out and mowed our lawn. After 45 mins of pushing a lawnmower in 95-degree heat and getting stung by a bee, I go inside and ask my mom for my reward. She comes up to me, gives me a 'loving hug' and says, "Thank you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 1 660

Birthday Boy

By Anonymous - 07/04/2019 16:00

Today, it's my birthday, I received two cards, one from my mum and one from my son, that my mum gave to him to give to me. My entire family said they couldn't be bothered going out for dinner for my birthday. My two 'friends' didn't even send a card, never mind a gift or want to meet up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 270

By FMAhole - 12/02/2019 12:18 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 728

You deserved it 4 136

By Amazon Ruined My Life - 28/12/2018 14:00

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 3 412

By shanson - 07/11/2016 14:06 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 747

You deserved it 831

By Ya_I_said_it - 26/07/2016 15:31

Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 611

You deserved it 1 507

By tiredmomma - 21/07/2016 21:30 - United States - Boston

Today, is my one day off for the week. My mother in law is visiting, and has decided we need to rearrange my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 594

You deserved it 995

Nice to know

By Anonymous - 04/06/2016 14:52 - United States - Bethlehem

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 263

You deserved it 961

By chickenshit4 - 15/05/2016 00:57 - United States - Pine Ridge

Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 240

You deserved it 3 081

By Giraafe - 09/05/2016 17:53 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I got grounded because I didn't send my aunt a Mother's Day present. Not only is she not married she doesn't have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 157

You deserved it 1 234

By Anonymous - 09/05/2016 03:02 - Canada - Fort Smith

Today, for Mother's Day, I surprised my Mother with the news I that I'll be visiting in June. The last time we got to visit was 4 years ago, we live 4000 miles apart and it's a very expensive trip. She said, "No, come next June, I want to lose some more weight before seeing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 542

You deserved it 1 134

By Alex - 08/05/2016 19:12 - United States

Today, after spending $120 to have a bouquet of flowers delivered to my mom, she called to complain that I had forgotten about her for Mother's day, but also praise my sister for apparently receiving my flowers I sent at the door and passing them off as hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 916

By SleepyMommy - 08/05/2016 17:05 - United States - Pomona

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 417

You deserved it 1 069

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The Top

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 859

You deserved it 6 043

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 432

You deserved it 236

The Top

Today, my friend, on whom I have a crush since I can remember, read the most beautiful poem to me, which he'd written himself. After reading it, he said that it was for a girl he likes, and asked me if it was good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 129

Today, I woke up and went down to my apartment's underground garage/laundry area to do my laundry and noticed my family's car in the back of the lot, as far away from the garage door as can be, had been broken into. The other, more expensive cars around the garage were untouched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 118

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 2 669

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 2 811

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 347

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 092

You deserved it 13 413