By Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
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You deserved it 2 620
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vintend0 8

why is everyone jumping on the chick? there's plenty of things to explain this other than she's been banging someone else A) She could have told him over text and this may have been been a failed autocorrect B) It could be that she's having the blood test kind of pregnancy test and she may have thought that it's called something different C) Could've been a brain fart/OP is going out with someone dumb and she just said the wrong word D) Could've been a joke Yes, she could have cheated and that would be disgusting of her to tell him in that way, but no one knows the full story so maybe don't jump to conclusions

36 3
Redgy22 26

I wasn't aware that she was a fuzzy baby bird. If that's the case, then I can understand a typo what with her having a beak and all.

4 18
Emirac 10

#46, not even funny sarcasm. Everyone over 5 grasps that chick is slang for woman. You just jumped at the chance to make a joke and failed hard.

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Redgy22 26

It's also considered derogatory FYI.

1 11
vegantreegirl 26

Thank you for clarifying #63. I honestly didn't even understand the joke #46 was trying to make....

12 0
DoomedGemini 37

This is the first time I've heard that "chick" was derogatory, can you please explain why?

5 0
vintend0 8

yes, in much the same way 'dude' is derogatory to males and 'kid' is derogatory to children

5 0
Sora_McKain 36

The literal definition of 'dude' is a rich old man. How is that derogatory?

0 1
vintend0 8

sarcasm doesn't translate well on the internet, huh?

0 1
virtue333 4

She prolly meant pregnancy test...I hope

8 3
melanij 7

She probably meant pregnancy test, you're the one that would have to do a paternity test. unless she's just going to have the other guy (s) do the test..

8 2
rorex 26

I feel like she must have meant to say pregnancy test, for paternity she would need your DNA to test. This suggests she will do it without you.

15 1
bahamit 18

Let's hope your girlfriend is a bit of a ditz and mixed up paternity and pregnancy test... Funnier mix ups have happened, had a ditz in my high school class who was dead set that she was right when she mixed up organism and ******....

9 0
C001Gir1 17

I think a follow up would be good op!

4 0
wdunh69733 24

Are you sure she didn't mean pregnancy test and just misspoke?

1 0
Arot6 17

Be glad she's getting a paternity test instead of just declaring you or someone else the father. Now you'll know whether or not you have any rights regarding the kid and whether or not you're to be held responsible for the financial support of the kid.

1 0
heirofhope 38

This is a different point of view, but why were you excited OP? If you want kids, fantastic, but if you hadn't discussed having any previously, it raises a controversial debate that can possibly alter your life (it's also a bit messier of you aren't married either). Either way, if she's cheating on you, then be glad you escaped making your kids have a ***** of a mom.

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