By stillloverher - 19/09/2017 23:45

Spicy
Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife's period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks 6 229
You deserved it 510
Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

TheEpicKitten 20

That makes me legitimate sick. You should probably have a doctor explain to her that it doesn't work that way

92 1
Tripartita 44

"So, how'd you get into the hair growth business?" "Haha, funny story, actually. I'd just been ejected from somebody's uterus through their ******, and they were like, 'I gotta put this shit on my husband's head,' so I decided, like, when life gives you lemons… you know?"

55 1

Comments

TheEpicKitten 20

That makes me legitimate sick. You should probably have a doctor explain to her that it doesn't work that way

92 1
gobiteme2 34

Hopefully she doesn't try that for a mustache.

23 1
RichardPencil 30

Get her pregnant. Problem solved, temporarily.

19 13
Tarlachia 33

So she can then bathe the baby's head in her menstrual blood? No thanks.

17 1
RichardPencil 30

By the time she has a period after the birth, the baby will likely have started growing some hair.

5 10
carinamenina 0

Moms actually bleed for 3-4 weeks straight after giving birth, so there would be plenty of blood available to spread all over that newborn baby's bald head.

3 2
RichardPencil 30

It’s a different kind of blood, presumably without magical power.

3 1
Glowworm56 26

I think this is the weirdest "home remedy" for hair growth that I've ever read.

25 1
exileonmainst 16

Everyone knows that period blood curing baldness is just a myth. Eating placenta however works wonders!

15 1
A-Cakes 4

It's...sad that I have to really question whether you're being sarcastic.

1 0
hbhansen1992 2

Eating the placenta is actually something people do

0 0
Tripartita 44

"So, how'd you get into the hair growth business?" "Haha, funny story, actually. I'd just been ejected from somebody's uterus through their ******, and they were like, 'I gotta put this shit on my husband's head,' so I decided, like, when life gives you lemons… you know?"

55 1
KittyMack 13

There are several layers of a-hole here. For one, putting anything on someone against their will is wrong. I suppose technically even illegal (assault). Secondly, any kind of discharge is gross and should be kept to oneself. Thirdly, she's implying that baldness is a problem. A problem serious enough that the slight chance of changing it is worth committing assault. She's basically telling the poor guy she finds him hideous! Baldness is perfectly natural and not at all ugly. Look at Captain Picard- yum!! Or the dad on That 70's Show- totally doable. This couple doesn't need a baldness cure for the husband, they need a shrink for the wife.

20 4
CSSDimian 6

The dad on that 70s show Lmao. That's the best you could do?

4 7
Lobby_Bee 17

If it can grow a baby, you can damn well bet it can do a couple strands of hair.

2 13
Chinaski76 15

Menstrual blood is kind of the opposite of growing a baby…

7 0