Kids: You what now?

You what now?

By tryena - 28/02/2009 10:59 - United States

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 302

You deserved it 92 921

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Same thing different taste

Catch!

By babybreath - 03/06/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 100

You deserved it 10 191

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 130

You deserved it 13 653

By Embarressed... - 04/08/2010 10:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 11 321

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 18:12 - United Kingdom - Ilminster

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 302

You deserved it 10 036

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 11:57 - United States - Howell

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 815

You deserved it 2 650

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 12:09 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 289

You deserved it 14 949

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 961

You deserved it 18 108

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 328

You deserved it 5 257

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 590

You deserved it 4 052

Run Away

By dman92 - 09/04/2017 14:24

Today, while babysitting, the power went off. My little cousin pointed into the dark kitchen behind me and asked, "Who's that man standing there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 763

You deserved it 383

fb_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:23

Wow, who would even think of something like that with your 5-year-old relative, let alone say it out loud? That's right, FYL.

Melody_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 20:21

#5 she had just gotten there. dont parents normally wait till the baby sitter is there BEFORE they leave?

Comments

Meri_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 13:08

#60, thanks, I wasn't sure whether it is or not. ;)

Meri_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 15:38

#70, yes it IS british humor. This kind of humor is defined by its... dryness? (I hope, this word exists, if not, you hopefully nevertheless will know what I'm talking about.) And over all by its sarcasm, and that's what I see, when I look at this FML.

Tikal_fml 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 17:24

Man, that's a messed up thing to say, even for a quick "laugh". You deserve to feel ******.

christinedoo 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 21:53

what the hell's wrong with you? does your local community college offer an introductory course in Common Sense and Decency?

0 3

Monday 2 March 2009 0:52

That would be a really... weird... thing to say. Especially to yourself. I think what may have really happened is that this situation was played out, minus the comment, then the poster thought of the line later.

itybitykity 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:38

hilarious~!

muse88 0

Monday 2 March 2009 5:30

many women find this outrageous..however, I myself find it hilarious...clearly the incestuous part of it is creepy..but this is just awesome....what happened after he heard??