By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 20:59 - Canada - Owen Sound

Spicy
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 019
You deserved it 6 028
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Coop817 19

I think he's horny. I may be wrong though.

327 1
robo_thunder 13

He really has a way with words

275 2

Comments

PenguinBitch 43

This is no time to give OP cooking advice. She's about to drown not starve.

141 2
X3liteXHunterX 12

I thought it said "prepare your anus" lol.

58 1
rogerover 19

Wow. He needs a little coaching in the dirty talk department!

222 5
stronghand0331 17

Maybe he should get a little lesson from Colonel Angus.

16 3
daken96 21

Hey, he's to the point. Just what men should be :)

1 1
robo_thunder 13

He really has a way with words

275 2
HelloSirs 14

Would it have been better if he said "I require coitus. Due to the lack of intercourse, the pressure in my epidydmis has increased significantly, and the contraction of my prostate and vas deferens will cause an expulsion of fluid from my ejaculatory duct to your epidermis."? I know you meant because he was abrupt, but I feel like mine is more fancy ;).

138 8
DanielleinDC 33

No, 27, but if he's horny as hell, he could have found a better way of telling her that he wanted to screw her brains out. Sheesh.

30 9
PincessBoff 6

I agree 33. He could have made it phenomenally sexy as ****.

16 4
fml121785 14

Umm... At least he used the correct form of "you're". :/

9 31
tmx90 5

I think this is the most important question so far.

67 2
happle 21

Considering the way he said it, I'm guessing not.

12 17
perdix 29

Is it a golden fire hydrant?

53 68
XxDevilxXGt 26

It would be a lot harder with a gold member.

17 6
supportcommand 17

Sounds like he's horney, has to take a shit but can't, and is going to piss on her.

4 8
starile 19

That's exactly what I thought; usually being "backed up" means constipated. Would've been a damn messy **** session.

2 1
lil_ham1644 29

I'm assuming that was a lame attempt at a "golden shower" reference?

2 0
doritowhore 9

Well, sex is a great way to express affection, right? Could be worse, he could be refusing sex to power up his sperm.

93 3
gman90210 18

Not asking telling and I bet she loved it like that

9 3
astralvagan 20

My wife has often told me she's thrilled when I am all over her! Be glad he wants to come home and unload on you and not someone else

88 47
kikiwi_fml 9

For those who thumbed down - that's the reality of most men. For real.

0 0
happle 21

Do you usually tell her like that? O.o And you make cheating sound pretty normal...

46 10
garrett8614 2

These days cheating is normal

17 4