By Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Spicy
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 182
You deserved it 32 498
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Ramanella 26

Umm, maybe walk that extra mile to get the proper toys you need op. I know I should but I don't feel any real sympathy for you. Maybe a little, but not a whole lot.

191 15

Comments

herotime 7

Plot twist, it's actually a guy

64 6
Gearden 8

once you go bannana...

24 3
Grmpman 7

I can just imagine the peel tearing and the actual eating part OH LAWDY!

9 1
NinjaMouse 8

That's one way to make a banana split.

22 0
Aero_x 21

17- A woman has actually diddled herself with a cucumber and died because the sharp edges cut into her vaginal walls as she climaxed causing oxygen to rush in there.

0 6
SaintJupiter 16

Ah, I'm sorry OP. I know how that is. Stay strong, be patient, and your man will come.

33 69
jnanderson 16

Was the banana at least a good partner?

6 26
AnOriginalName 19

It wasn't, #34. Didn't even want the post-coitus cuddles!

25 3
jnanderson 16

But she could munch him immediately after they both finished

36 4
Parkour_rocks 20

#38 that's just gross. Also, what did you mean by they both finished?

5 57
UnluckyGenius 21

Didn't you hear #34? The banana split!

139 3
Peachy2392 26

Are both finishing a strange idea to you, #47? That's unfortunate for your partner.

25 3
Parkour_rocks 20

#86 No, what's strange to me is a banana finishing. As it is already the seed of the banana flower.

2 12
Ramanella 26

What if op is into women, than that would be an entirely different story

1 0
Ramanella 26

Umm, maybe walk that extra mile to get the proper toys you need op. I know I should but I don't feel any real sympathy for you. Maybe a little, but not a whole lot.

191 15
ironichalibut 24

Did you hear the one about the vegan who use a carrot? I heard that it was tüber painful

52 3
tpm45 25

Buying toys can be awkward for some people... Besides, OP could be underage

26 3
ilytyvm 25

I agree, actually. although, maybe op isn't old enough to buy sex toys, since you have to be 18.

7 3
happle 21

Then why can't she buy them online?

16 3
mattrd_fml 31

if she's not 18, then she probably doesnt have a credit card to buy them online. and she also probably wouldnt want a package mailed to her house.

22 1
Sputnikspak 13

If OP isn't 18, there's still 'massagers' on sale at grocery stores or Walmart, and failing that, an electric toothbrush will do in a pinch.

28 1
kyu_Q 19

# 85 hell yeah. see people BBT is not only funny is helpful and informative

1 0
mFUNdo21 17

she could always use her fingers...

5 0
Sansa_fml 38

And don't forget the toy cleaner ;) safer than using bananas.

0 0
WhiteCrimson 23

I dunno what to say. Poor banana it poor you. Well keep looking. The right fruit is out there.

127 6
lazygirlWOW 9

Next time use a more rounded fruit/vegetable...maybe a cucumber? Haha

94 6
jnanderson 16

First cucumber experience. She didn't use her hand.

67 2
mn_shr 22

I'd say no for cucumber. A girl in our dorm tried that and she must have been going at it really hard it broke inside her and had to go to the emergency room to get it taken out. I haven't been able to look at cucumbers the same since....

24 0
Ch_rae5 19

or instead of FOOD use an actuall toy.....its called an investment

8 0
BrysGirl27 14

Ew...some girl in our high school shoved a corn dog up herself....

9 2
AngelSpit 18

there's also tales of women using various fruits/vegetables and cutting themselves internally on the implement and even a few resulting in death from air being forced into a blood vessel from pressure ...... in the (not so) words of Rocko Wallaby "Masturbation day is a very dangerous day."

5 1
Squirrel1256 15

Just don't put that banana back in the kitchen when you're done with it.

119 1
junkman6 22

My exact thought. Later in the day OP has a banana "hmm why's this taste so funny" and then comes the follow up FML.

27 5
mbuck87 19

I don't think she would have peeled it first ...

23 1
graceinsheepwear 33

You need to learn your way around the produce aisle. A banana?

67 4
Dodge4x4Ram 46

why ? did the banana spilt :-)

96 3
graceinsheepwear 33

Damn, great comment but for the typo.

28 5
Dodge4x4Ram 46

**Split,,, my bad,, that's what happen when you type fast & watch a good movie at the same time

20 5
zandalee 19

What movie? I just watched The Call... Damn near scared myself to death! :8

11 5
Dodge4x4Ram 46

season finale of BREAKING BAD,,I know it's a show,, best ever

17 5
RojerRamjet 3

A cucumber is the way to go OP *Not that I would no anything about it*

27 5
WeAreAHurricane 14

*Sweats profusely* MUST. RESIST. URGE.

27 0
cantik20 5

mine turn in to pickle ;-)

2 7