By mistletoe - 09/12/2013 02:21 - United States - Miami

Spicy
Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 951
You deserved it 5 198
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Top comments

hnz 13

That's when you say "Yo, can I kick your ass under the mistletoe"

322 10
Ambient25 24

Smack the shit out of him. I actually went to a bar before in DC and saw this pretty drunk guy try this on a girl: "Hey baby were your parents retarded? Cuz you sure are special"... I burst out laughing

296 7

Comments

hnz 13

That's when you say "Yo, can I kick your ass under the mistletoe"

322 10
oj101 33

Sounds like something Jesse Pinkman would say.

38 2
eyepuppy 31

Jesse was such a wuss. You should have just kicked that guy in the balls, OP.

2 29
johnpaisley 6

I just use the old classic hay I like u and So can u be my hohoho , they don't get mad they laugh

1 11
JocelynKaulitz 28

29, he would just have to add 'bitch' at the end of it.

3 0
jarockstar27 10

I would actually say "only if i can roast your nuts over an open fire!"

1 0
Wederoney 16

Wow... but at least it's something new?

18 62
flashback_fml 14

If you're going to say something stupid... Why say it at all?

12 1
MzZombicidal 36

Because if stupid people kept their mouths shut, we wouldn't have FML!

19 0
Siererrr 13

Looks like Santa Baby is gonna be hurrying up a very specific chimney this year

130 6
Ambient25 24

Smack the shit out of him. I actually went to a bar before in DC and saw this pretty drunk guy try this on a girl: "Hey baby were your parents retarded? Cuz you sure are special"... I burst out laughing

296 7
Ambient25 24

I have to say, I knew a guy who caught an STD and still tried to get with girls. I tried warning them which ruined our friendship, but I always imagined him saying this: "I put the STD in STUD baby, and all I need is U."

139 3
JACKxRAWR 22

"Aye gurl are you Medusa cause you makin' me rock hard baby!"

79 3
Ambient25 24

"Are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for"

71 2
Wizardo 33

And an internet classic - 'Aye girl, if your ****** was a pineapple impanada can I take a bite?'

6 47
Ambient25 24

And a computer geek classic: "Hey baby, you turn my software, into hardware"

71 5
Ambient25 24

Rape Sloth: "There will only be 7 planets left tonight, after I destroy Uranus"

93 1
Karcasm 7

#4, I have to remember that one.

13 4
IworkAt711 14

I have a knife and a penis, and one of them is going inside you.

8 1
Ambient25 24

"Do you work at FedEx baby? Because I thought I saw you checking out my package"

51 2
Darbstar101 19

'Aye gurl, you like camping? Cause you just pitched mah' tent

32 3
Applesarefum 9

crap, sorry 33, I meant to hit thumbs down.

1 5
13ky13 20

"Are you from Tennessee, because lets ****. "

44 5
mansen 15

The absolute worst pick up line that I actually saw work at a bar, " Nice shoes, wanna ****?". I cannot attest to how drunk the girl was, but I am assuming, very.

40 0
jazzy_123 20

it's a little late to say this but it's a good one: "if your left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays" lol.

42 3
RedPillSucks 31

Damn. Ima right this shit down...

21 2
mansen 15

ooh! I remember another awful one! "is your father Satan? Because you are one hot little devil", *groan*

11 0
gmian 34

76- That pickup line is actually from a Jenna Marbles video! If both parties get the reference, it might actually work.

4 7
PenguinForDinner 16

"Yo, can I queef on your kisser under the mistletoe?"

12 65
Raidriar 14

What the hell? I'm pretty sure I just vomited a little.

2 0
jennababe98 9

Did he hold up a mistletoe after he said that?

7 17
DavidKnows 11

I have a mistletoe belt buckle!

9 0
Not_Impressed13 9

I wanna get a matching set of those for my girlfriend and I! ;-)

3 0
mccrightp 29

I've never understood the point of saying something like that. What are you supposed to say?

26 2
mccrightp 29

Yes indeed, lol! I was thinking, "what else beside no would you say?"

1 0
kayrose10 10

"if I can kick your dick"

13 4