Why the hell were you born?

Spiders don't only creep on large plants. It could have dangled from the roof or even crawled up from the floor!

Unless it somehow raised itself with anti-gravity webs, I doubt it "lowered itself" in front of OP by "crawling up fron the floor"...

Now you're thinking with portals :D

22- Have you forgotten that spiders have webs, sir? Ahem. Disregard this comment. I read the thread wrong. I'm not too coherent at 2:45 AM.

That awkward moment when you absolutely butcher the spelling of a word easy as dining.

"a word as easy as dining"* i know it was a typo, but still.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up OP's throat…

1 - Your internet is hereby revoked. Good day, madam.

-46 dazzle me with your logic.

Radioactive spiders 22. What, they do more than give people superpowers.

Are you trying to challenge me to prove to you that god doesn't exist? Think carefully, I am not against people believing god is real, just them trying to push it on me when I don't push my beliefs on them. Like I say on my profile, to each his own.

"There once was a lady who swallowed a fly, I don't know why, she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die!"

It was a spider not a fly..

"There was an old lady who swallowed a spider, it wiggled and juggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die. "

Next she has to swallow a bird.

Then the cat to catch the bird. I don't know why she swallowed the spider. Perhaps she'll die!

It amazes me how unlucky the people on fml are yls

I don't know why she swallowed the fly... Perhaps she'll die...

There was an old lady who swallowed a horse...she died of course!

Gosh!? What is wrong with spiders! They're not like evil creepy crawlies comming to scare the shit out of you! The OP is the one who probably scared the shit out of its tiny body. All she was looking for was food, so YDI. Since the spider can't post an FML i'll re do it for him :«today, one of those stupid humans swalloed me and covered me in saliva, FML»

64- Replace "saliva" with "stomach acids." It's funnier.

Plus the spider I'm sure died from the throat being all suffocating and what not. I'm not a big fan of spiders, personally, when there in my house. Outside they can do whatever they please.

Ok for stumach acids! But I mean spiders are just part of nature, you have to put up with them. They're the ones who eat the flies and mosquitoes too.

Yeahh um the spider didn't really make it out in one piece...

?

And thus, Grammar was found dead in his bed.

There is a spider (in the dining room I guess.) Somebody asks "where did the spider go?" I reply with "It must of went into the other room." ... So I assume the guy was speaking in first person about OP and didn't want others to know he ate the spider?

Is someone "flying high off weed" again?

Is someone "flying high off weed" again?

Thank you 59 for correcting my errors, I really mean it.

…And that, boys and girls, is how a pretentious asshole of a Grammar Nazi learned to love again. The End.

Yousuck never mentioned anything about grammar. He just added more details to what OP said so we could get a better understanding of it, and I appreciate it. The first words I thought after reading OP's comment were "what the ****", so I'm glad someone could give me a better idea of what it means. Please stop giving him shit, even if he is mature enough to take it without being insulted.

Creepy charms! It's grossly delicious!

you said it **** that shit i would have died and omg theres a spidar on the wall

89- dont eat it

Omg ! Id be no good after that . I bet op has a legit phobia of spiders now .

When you make a mistake, sometimes you just gotta own up and go all the way.

It's also a good source of nightmare too! Aaaahhhh

Riveting tale, chap!

I loved that book! :D

got to love that crunchy protein goodness~