Transportation: Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs....

By Noname - 05/03/2009 00:29 - United States

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 445

You deserved it 4 057

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 19:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 096

You deserved it 2 143

By Anonymous - 26/03/2012 10:53 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 310

You deserved it 30 275

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 144

You deserved it 12 191

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 4 043

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 459

You deserved it 19 430

By belladonna - 26/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 219

You deserved it 79 279

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 879

You deserved it 7 047

By creepyguy - 26/12/2009 12:06 - Australia

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 301

You deserved it 9 960

By ruvru - 10/04/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 703

You deserved it 4 122

You what now?

By foshizzle - 25/04/2012 06:46 - United States - Orlando

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 979

You deserved it 3 188

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 12:45

Probably because he either wanted to lick them or eat them

N07H666 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:21

that's one creative pickup line!!! I gotta remember that one

Comments

King_of_Kings 3

Thursday 5 March 2009 12:24

lmfao

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 12:45

Probably because he either wanted to lick them or eat them

Atmaster 3

Friday 26 March 2010 4:27

I agree I hate creepy newyork subway men

ChaCerCam 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 9:49

Run! He wants to scoop them out with a spoon!

vdturner25 15

Sunday 26 July 2015 22:54

#2 has a point. Sounds like ****** jeepers creepers back again. Watch yourself

PiousHeretic 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 13:04

Ohhh, baby! I mean.. eyeballs! Really?

foodlord 5

Monday 26 September 2011 10:05

UHe was busy having eye sex with u

shalvius 3

Thursday 5 March 2009 13:19

that's odd

stephypoo 4

Thursday 5 March 2009 13:23

maybe he wanted em for his own personal pleasure...?

N07H666 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:21

that's one creative pickup line!!! I gotta remember that one

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:32

Maybe he was a bit drunk and was trying to say what nice eyes you had?

nah_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:34

watever it was.. dont be sad.. you are beautiful in your own way! :)

Big_Pick 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 15:39

Oh the true definition of irony!

DamUrLyfeSukz 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 15:57

uhhh i guess...what a way to boost ya self esteem

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The Top

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 835

You deserved it 442

Today, my boyfriend was eating me out and I was so close to orgasm, but he suddenly stopped because his phone notified him of the football scores. He only stopped for a few seconds to check but the moment was ruined, and even though he got right back down there it just wasn’t happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 281

The Top

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 791

You deserved it 3 601

Today, it was the third time a guy high-fived me after sex. The other two guys gave me a fist bump. Is this a universal thing, or am I just one of the bros? FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 256

Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 178

Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 609

You deserved it 6 604

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 190

You deserved it 27 968

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 697

You deserved it 3 481

Same thing different taste

You what now?

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