The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By SwedishBozo - 15/03/2009 01:30 - United States

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 885

You deserved it 326 523

By ThanksMom - 02/06/2009 12:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 192

You deserved it 4 359

ThanksMom tells us more.

ThanksMom 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:26

Hi, FMLer here. The reason my mother said that was because she wanted me to get back together with my first boyfriend, though I've been with my new fiance for 5 years. She never got over me leaving my first and never accepted anyone after. And as you might have noticed in my previous paragraph- I said yes! (And by the way, my father told my mother if she leaves, he'd stay and wouldnt give her the car keys. ;) )

Dad jokes

By Anonymous - 10/10/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said, "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 225

You deserved it 27 879

By meep - 23/12/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 767

You deserved it 12 325

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 660

You deserved it 96 586

By rebekah - 03/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463 283

You deserved it 77 122

Charming

By lagirl - 09/06/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 443

You deserved it 70 347

By sad face - 07/03/2012 19:25 - Canada

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 518

You deserved it 32 030

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 818

You deserved it 8 736

By dumped - 05/06/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 872

You deserved it 6 260

By Anonymous - 22/02/2015 20:41 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 796

You deserved it 4 721

Well?

By Johntheladdo - 29/03/2011 17:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 342

You deserved it 10 503

By Joe - 04/08/2011 18:28 - United States

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 798

You deserved it 126 067

By azmom - 27/03/2012 17:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 315

You deserved it 26 211

Give it back

By aliixmaee - 09/08/2011 14:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 025

You deserved it 6 388

By AyoitsSteveo - 24/05/2009 09:49 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 924

You deserved it 159 322

By ifailsobadly - 13/08/2011 20:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 469

You deserved it 47 617

ifailsobadly tells us more.

ifailsobadly 18

Monday 2 January 2012 2:35

Wow. You're completely right :3 And I'm reading these months later, and most of the comments are 'Get a GF', 'get laid' or 'go outside'. Well, I don't understand how having a girlfriend would make me less upset, I'm under the legal age of sex so sorry guys, and go outside? Do people think I'm an aggrophobe? Of course I go out, I ubilt this in someo fo my spare time! :D

By jeeperspeepers - 02/08/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 129

You deserved it 132 896